WEDDING NOTES™ – Wedding Don’ts

Yes the wedding will be exciting.  Of course it is the biggest party you’ll ever plan.  Yes the “rules” have relaxed and you want your wedding to be uniquely yours.  You can have it and be happy doing it if you managed to sidestep some of the no-nos that wedding planners advise their brides to avoid.

• Superbride is only in comic books.  You are only one person and accept that you absolutely can’t/shouldn’t try to do it all yourself and still be sane on your wedding day.  Obviously you will make most of the major decisions, but don’t get caught up in all the minute details that demand your attention every waking hour.  Don’t brush away offers to help.  People really do want to help so accept their offers.  Make a sound decision and hire a wedding planner to take care of that legion of details.

• Don’t have a cash bar.  You have invited people to this party.  Don’t ask them to shell out cash for some of their refreshments.  You wouldn’t ask them to pay for their dinners or for a piece of cake.  There are plenty of ways to watch bar expenditures.  If you want a bar, you don’t need to have only top shelf brands.  You can create a signature cocktail and offer only beer and/or wine to guests who prefer something else.  You can have an open bar for an hour only as the guests arrive and then serve wine at dinner.  Provide a table of non alcoholic drinks and punch.  Ask a friend or relative to help guests with their beverage of choice. Ask your wedding planner to help with other money saving ideas.

• Do not include gift registry information on your invitations.  Registering for gifts is a good idea.  It helps guests to make selections they know you will like.  However, giving wedding gifts is never mandatory even if the overwhelming majority of guests will give a gift.  The best way to get out registry news is by word of mouth (your mom and bridesmaids) or on your wedding Internet site.

Be a friend to your bridesmaids and not their boss.  Their official function is to witness the solemn event at which you take your marriage vows.  They are there to stand up for you.  Try not to take the “maid” portion of their title literally.  Yes they are willing to help but watch the demands you make on their time and pocketbooks.  Let them know how much you appreciate their willingness to be a part of your big day.