WEDDING NOTES™ - Wedding Toasts

According to Random House, a toast is “a salutation uttered immediately before drinking in honor of a person or event.”

Toasts acknowledge the wedding couple and express good wishes for a happy future together.  They also express a welcome – one family welcoming a new member to the group.

Some general guidelines:

• ·        Toasts are not an opportunity to make the couple blush nor are they the place to tell inside jokes.

• ·        The average toast can run about 3 minutes but no more than 5 minutes.

• ·        The best times at the reception to offer toasts are either before the dinner starts and/or just prior to cutting the cake.

• ·        The official host of the reception (usually the bride’s father) is the first to offer a toast.  He is followed by the best man and then the maid of honor.  Yes, the maid of honor offers a toast to the happy couple.  Others may wish to offer toasts, but they should be controlled.

• ·        If the bride and groom host their own wedding, they start the toasts by thanking family and guests for being with them on this special occasion.

• ·        When looking for words for the toast, consider lines from poems that have meaning for the couple or the person offering the toast.  Song lyrics or short anecdotes about the couple are also appropriate.

• ·        The host or master of ceremonies should discourage the clinking of silverware against the glassware for any purpose during the reception.

WEDDING NOTES™ - INTERNATIONAL CUSTOMS

 Wedding customs from other countries can make an interesting addition to your wedding plans.  Consider these ideas shared by brides.

• ·        Mexico – guests for a heart shaped circle around the couple who dance their first dance in the center of this “circle of love”.

• ·        Belgium – a dressmaker can make a handkerchief for the bride and embroider her name and date on it.  After the wedding it is framed and kept by the bride who cherishes it until it is time to be handed down to the next bride where the process is repeated.

• ·        Germany-both the bride and groom carry a lighted floral laden candle to the altar.  They are placed by the unity candle throughout the ceremony and then used to light the unity candle as part of the ceremony.

• ·        Scotland –the couple drinks first from a Quaich or loving cup which is shaped as a bowl with two handles.  The customer dates back to the 15^th century and symbolizes two families coming together.  Tradition has it the couples who drink from it first will have happiness and good fortune.

• ·        Greece – bride and groom both wear a crown or wreath of flowers called stefana.  They are the symbol of royalty and the sanctity of marriage.  The groom removes his after the ceremony, but the bride keeps hers on as part of the wedding ensemble.

And one custom that should go away is the tradition of stuffing cake in each other’s face.  Feeding each other the first bite of cake is nice.  Smearing it all over each other’s face is not.  Certainly no bride wants a photo of herself covered in frosting.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Honoring Family Members

We find that brides often wish to honor a deceased family member by including that person’s name on the wedding invitation.  While the intention is good, this is not the way to do it.  There are other more appropriate ways to honor the deceased one’s memory – either privately or publicly.

To honor a deceased mother, an usher can place a white rose on the pew at the moment the deceased would have been seated.  During the ceremony, a song can be dedicated to the deceased or the person’s favorite hymn sung and commemoration noted in the program. 

Deceased siblings or grandparents can be honored during the candle ceremony by lighting an additional candle in their honor.

Rosemary stands for remembrance so a sprig of rosemary could be included in the bridal bouquet or attendant’s bouquets.  Bouquets could also contain the family member’s favorite flower.

A contribution to the deceased’s favorite charity in their name is a nice way to honor someone you love.  Make note of the contribution on your printed program.