Very few couples get to "have it all"! But coming close is the result of making good choices and establishing a list of priorities. That will be your first order of business. Together establish a list of "must" haves or items that have top billing. Agree on this list together so there are few surprises later. With this list in hand, you can budget and then begin planning.
Wedding planners suggest that you start with the top 5 items - the ones on which you are least likely to compromise. If you go over budget on any of those you can "borrow" from other categories to keep your budget in balance. For example, if your reception site is the most important to you, book it early and then you'll know how much is left to allocate for photographs or flowers. You may choose to rent greens to spend less on cut flowers in expensive arrangements. If you decide that the food you serve is more important than the beverages, then discard the idea of an open bar and have champagne served by roving waiters. If having "the" gown is your dream, and it's price is over your budget, you'll need to fund it from other wedding items.
If you are lucky enough to receive a cash contribution to your wedding from parents, consider investing it in a short term CD that will earn interest before you need to start paying vendors.
One of the most effective ways to manage the budget is to pare down the guest list. More and more couples are choosing smaller and more intimate weddings.
Wise couples order all of their wedding stationery needs at one time. Reorders are expensive. That means that you will need to carefully plan that number.