WEDDING NOTES™ - You May Now Kiss the Bride

How did this phrase become part of the wedding ceremony?  Lots of folk lore surrounds THE KISS.

Some experts date it back to classical Greece and the tendency of men to want to make sure that the ladies were not drinking wine before the ceremony.  A kiss on the lips helped to reassure the groom that his wife to be was not wanton.

More likely the tradition rose out of the medieval ceremonies in which the presiding clergyman would give a symbolic kiss to the groom at the end of the marriage ceremony to indicate the solemnity of the ceremony just completed.  Then the groom would kiss his bride to seal the marriage contract.  The priest and the groom would then kiss the attendants and they would all move on to the guests who were each kissed in turn.  This was likely the source of all the kissing and hugging that goes on at weddings today.

Many western European cultures believed it was lucky for a bride to see a chimney sweep on her way to church - especially if the sweep stopped to wish her well.  If he chose to kiss the bride's check, she was guaranteed a happy life.  To insure a happy life, many sweeps found themselves with lucrative part time jobs - kissing new brides.

We know that in the Middle Ages, many people were illiterate unable to sign their names and instead put an X in its place.  No legal documents were considered legal without that X.  To show good faith, they would kiss the X in the same way they kissed the Bible when taking an oath.  With time, the X became the symbol of the kiss. 

No one is quite sure when the O was added to the X, but we now have XOXO etc. as the shorthand for hugs and kisses.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Who is the BEST MAN?

We enjoy helping the groom and his best man understand the scope of his duties as he assists the groom both on his big day as well as days leading up to the wedding. 

The best man is usually the groom's brother, father or best friend.  His role is important and is usually given to someone reliable and close to the groom.

Here are most of the traditional duties that accompany the acceptance of this role.

• ·         An important duty is to coordinate arrangements for the bachelor dinner, which is held at least

two days before the wedding.  Some choose to surprise the groom with location and details but we have observed over time that it is better to involve the groom in key choices for the event.

• ·         He makes certain that the groom is on time to all wedding related functions.

• ·         He picks up the groom's formal wear and accessories for the event and handles its return following the wedding.  He also assists the groom in getting other males in the wedding party in for timely sizing.

• ·         Many a best man has also assumed responsibility for verifying honeymoon departure plans and may confirm reservations.

• ·         He may organize plans for decorating the car which the bride and groom will use for their departure from the reception.  He is wise to listen to the couple's plea for tasteful car decor or their decision to avoid that entire procedure.  If a rental car - classic or limo - is being used, no other decorations than those chosen by the couple in agreement with the car company may be used.  The best man's job is to remind overzealous guests of this fact and to discourage any activities that might damage the car or jeopardize safety.

• ·         On the day of the wedding he is in charge of the bride's wedding band, the marriage license, the groom's wallet for the honeymoon and the clergy's fee.

• ·         At the reception, he gives the first toast and has the fourth dance with the bride.  (Note:  her first dance is with the groom, the second with her father and the third with the groom's father.)

• ·         And any other duties that will help the groom.

It is considered an honor to be asked to be best man - and it is also a responsibility if done correctly.

WEDDING NOTES™ - The Wedding Ring

Historians trace the use of the wedding ring back to the Egyptians.  They are seen as the first to use wedding rings in their wedding ceremonies.  They believed that the circle represented eternity, so the ring was the perfect symbol for a lasting marriage.  The same historians also credit the Egyptians with seeing the third finger of the left hand as the ring finger.  They believed that a vein from this finger went directly to the heart so if this finger were circled with a gold ring, the love was captured and would not escape.

Whether or not they know this, it is the reason most women never remove their wedding ring.

Another part of this ring tradition is that the third finger of the left hand is considered to be the "weakest" even though it is not the smallest.  Experts say that because of its perceived weakness, it is the most dependent on the others for help in lifting and holding.  For many couples over the years, this has become a symbol of their combined strength as a couple.  Alone they can do many things, but together they can do even more.

Our ancestors also believed that if the wedding ring didn't fit perfectly, it could be seen as a sign that the couple was incompatible for married life.

While rings have been important to many generations of brides, there has never been a law requiring their use.  It is a strength of the tradition that today's couples aren't likely to consider marrying without one.