WEDDING NOTES™ – How Do I?

We gladly help our brides solve awkward problems that can arise when one is giving a party for 150 friends of the bride. No matter how organized one is, it is nice to have an experience specialist – a knowledgeable consultant or certified wedding planner – available for face-to-face problem solving. Every wedding is unique and so can the problems that are presented by the “people factor”.

How do I handle guests who have responded to our invitations and state on the reply card that the number or guests planning to attend is larger than the number we’ve invited?

If your quest count and budget can handle the number of “extras” indicated, chalk it up to bad manners on the part of those quests and just greet them with as much good grace as you can muster. However, if your quest count is already pushing over the budget and you truly cannot absorb the extra bodies, we suggest that you turn to your maid of honor, a tactful bridesmaid or family member who may know the offending guests well. Ask this person to call the guests in question and explain that the bride would love to expand her guest list, but unfortunately it is not possible. The reason? Budget, time, space concerns! If the person is offended – and some will be – they are not true friends. Remember that they are the ones who have overstepped the etiquette boundaries.

If you really want the invitees to attend in spite of their children, and that’s where many overages originate, you might consider adding to the reception card copy that reads “adult only reception”.

If you find that many of your invited guests are bringing uninvited children, you may just arrange for the children to be at a “separate” reception somewhere in the same venue. You can provide “sitters”, large screen TVs, lots of craft items and a separate kid friendly menu that is provided by family members.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Budget Ideas

We know that if a bride isn’t careful, the budget for her wedding can be blown in an afternoon.

Our consultants are experts at helping brides create the wedding of their dreams without the nightmares that come with being over-budget. Here are some practical ideas that we know can help avoid the budget crunch. 

• The guest list. Look at your wedding realistically. You are inviting friends and relatives to help you celebrate this important day in your lives. Others on the list are likely to be friends of both sets of parents. A conversation with each of them about the number of guests is necessary unless you and/or your parents can afford to pay for everything and everyone.

• Big floral arrangements (as seen on TV portrayals of “must have” accessories) are likely to be beyond your budget and are certainly not necessary. Take a good look at the church sanctuary and see if you really need all those flowers. Most do not. They are stand-alone places. Instead of floral overloads, we suggest renting some greenery if you have large places to fill. Use the money to enliven reception spaces if necessary.

• If you have a friend or relative who was recently married, it may be possible to borrow some things – gloves, shoes, veils or headpieces, jewelry. It will not only save you money but satisfied your need for “something borrowed”.

• When you place your order for wedding invitations, order all your wedding stationery needs at one time (including a few more than you think you will need.) Set up charges for hew extras later can be very expensive.

• While today’s invitations offer a wide variety of paper style, colors, fonts and trims. The current trend toward memorable and unique invitations may be exactly what you wanted, but be ready to spend a significant portion of your budget on that aspect of the wedding plans. A simple elegant statement can be made with ivory vellum and an interesting font choice.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Emergency Kit

You’ve planned a flawless wedding and believe with all your heart that it will go off without a hitch.

Your family has thought about and planned for any eventuality. However, should “Murphy’s Law” show up, the wise bride and her wedding consultant always have an emergency kit available.

What should go in your kit? These are the basic items we recommend for every kit. Add your own items as you see fit.

1.       A small sewing kit. At a minimum be sure it has thread to match your gown, the bridesmaid dresses, the mothers’ dresses and the tuxedos. There should be a variety of needle sizes, small scissors and a collection of extra buttons for your gown (if appropriate) for shirt fronts, safety pins and hemming tape just in case.

2.       A roll of Hollywood tape. This is used to keep low cut necklines in place among other handy uses. If you can’t find it in your area, you can find it online.

3.       A small medical supplies box. This should include aspirin or Tylenol, Tums or other antacids, band aids, smelling salts, breath mints and some PeptoBismal tablets.

4.       A box of personal grooming aids. Include a hair brush for touch ups, hair spray (used for both hair and for eliminating static cling on fabrics, hair or bobby pins, hat pins (for securing boutonnieres), your make up, mouthwash, deodorant.

5.       Rolls of Scotch Tape and white gaffer’s tape (you should be able to get at a local hardware store.) These are to be used on emergency fabric tears and on bouquets that “come undone”. Also bring a couple of sticks of white chalk to cover up stains on your white gown.

6.       Other miscellaneous items include: a lint brush, a pair of white or ivory ballet slippers for when your feet scream “take off the heels”, a small hand towel and wash cloth, a couple of zip top plastic bags, Kleenex and a bed sheet (to cover the floor in the dressing room to protect your gown as you step in to it.)

Knowing that you can cover most emergency situations should give you peace of mind. Of course, when you are prepared emergencies are less likely to happen.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Your Destination Wedding

As more and more couples are choosing to combine weddings and vacation celebrations, there are more issues to handle than brides realize.  For couples choosing this option, we have some advice for you.

• ·        Decide on your guest list which will likely be small.

• ·        Really research your chosen destination to see if it will work for you.

• ·        If it is a non English speaking place, contact the US Embassy there and ask about length of residency required before you can marry there.

• ·        If at all possible, visit the location before you make your decision.

• ·        Once decided, book as early as possible and hire a local wedding planner to handle the legwork for you.  Weddings Beautiful is a worldwide network of certified wedding planners who assist brides in coordinating their weddings.  She/he will be your eyes, ears and spokesperson as you create plans via long distance.

• ·        Be aware that other cultures may not always reply as promptly as we might expect.

• ·        Be aware that other cultures may not always have written contracts.

• ·        Learn about any restrictions or requirements that may exist for ceremonies and receptions.

• ·        Be aware of any dress requirements for the wedding couple and/or their attendants.

• ·        Be prepared to pay extra to bring your wedding dress and the groom’s wear on board your flight.

Once you have made your decision, resolve to be flexible and relaxed about the outcome.  Everything will work out!