Thursday, December 22, 2016

WEDDING NOTES™ - You May Now Kiss the Bride



How did this phrase become part of the wedding ceremony?  Lots of folk lore surrounds THE KISS.
Some experts date it back to classical Greece and the tendency of men to want to make sure that the ladies were not drinking wine before the ceremony.  A kiss on the lips helped to reassure the groom that his wife to be was not wanton.

More likely the tradition rose out of the medieval ceremonies in which the presiding clergyman would give a symbolic kiss to the groom at the end of the marriage ceremony to indicate the solemnity of the ceremony just completed.  Then the groom would kiss his bride to seal the marriage contract.  The priest and the groom would then kiss the attendants and they would all move on to the guests who were each kissed in turn.  This was likely the source of all the kissing and hugging that goes on at weddings today.

Many western European cultures believed it was lucky for a bride to see a chimney sweep on her way to church - especially if the sweep stopped to wish her well.  If he chose to kiss the bride's check, she was guaranteed a happy life.  To insure a happy life, many sweeps found themselves with lucrative part time jobs - kissing new brides.

We know that in the Middle Ages, many people were illiterate unable to sign their names and instead put an X in its place.  No legal documents were considered legal without that X.  To show good faith, they would kiss the X in the same way they kissed the Bible when taking an oath.  With time, the X became the symbol of the kiss. 

No one is quite sure when the O was added to the X, but we now have XOXO etc. as the shorthand for hugs and kisses.

Sunday, December 18, 2016

WEDDING NOTES™ - Who is the BEST MAN?



We enjoy helping the groom and his best man understand the scope of his duties as he assists the groom both on his big day as well as days leading up to the wedding. 
The best man is usually the groom's brother, father or best friend.  His role is important and is usually given to someone reliable and close to the groom.

Here are most of the traditional duties that accompany the acceptance of this role.

  • ·         An important duty is to coordinate arrangements for the bachelor dinner, which is held at least

two days before the wedding.  Some choose to surprise the groom with location and details but we have observed over time that it is better to involve the groom in key choices for the event.

  • ·         He makes certain that the groom is on time to all wedding related functions.

  • ·         He picks up the groom's formal wear and accessories for the event and handles its return following the wedding.  He also assists the groom in getting other males in the wedding party in for timely sizing.

  • ·         Many a best man has also assumed responsibility for verifying honeymoon departure plans and may confirm reservations.

  • ·         He may organize plans for decorating the car which the bride and groom will use for their departure from the reception.  He is wise to listen to the couple's plea for tasteful car decor or their decision to avoid that entire procedure.  If a rental car - classic or limo - is being used, no other decorations than those chosen by the couple in agreement with the car company may be used.  The best man's job is to remind overzealous guests of this fact and to discourage any activities that might damage the car or jeopardize safety.

  • ·         On the day of the wedding he is in charge of the bride's wedding band, the marriage license, the groom's wallet for the honeymoon and the clergy's fee.

  • ·         At the reception, he gives the first toast and has the fourth dance with the bride.  (Note:  her first dance is with the groom, the second with her father and the third with the groom's father.)

  • ·         And any other duties that will help the groom.


It is considered an honor to be asked to be best man - and it is also a responsibility if done correctly.

Monday, December 12, 2016

WEDDING NOTES™ - The Wedding Ring



Historians trace the use of the wedding ring back to the Egyptians.  They are seen as the first to use wedding rings in their wedding ceremonies.  They believed that the circle represented eternity, so the ring was the perfect symbol for a lasting marriage.  The same historians also credit the Egyptians with seeing the third finger of the left hand as the ring finger.  They believed that a vein from this finger went directly to the heart so if this finger were circled with a gold ring, the love was captured and would not escape.

Whether or not they know this, it is the reason most women never remove their wedding ring.

Another part of this ring tradition is that the third finger of the left hand is considered to be the "weakest" even though it is not the smallest.  Experts say that because of its perceived weakness, it is the most dependent on the others for help in lifting and holding.  For many couples over the years, this has become a symbol of their combined strength as a couple.  Alone they can do many things, but together they can do even more.

Our ancestors also believed that if the wedding ring didn't fit perfectly, it could be seen as a sign that the couple was incompatible for married life.

While rings have been important to many generations of brides, there has never been a law requiring their use.  It is a strength of the tradition that today's couples aren't likely to consider marrying without one.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

WEDDING NOTES™ - The Choice is Yours



Very few couples get to "have it all"!  But coming close is the result of making good choices and establishing a list of priorities.  That will be your first order of business.  Together establish a list of "must" haves or items that have top billing.  Agree on this list together so there are few surprises later.  With this list in hand, you can budget and then begin planning.

Wedding planners suggest that you start with the top 5 items - the ones on which you are least likely to compromise.  If you go over budget on any of those you can "borrow" from other categories to keep your budget in balance.  For example, if your reception site is the most important to you, book it early and then you'll know how much is left to allocate for photographs or flowers.  You may choose to rent greens to spend less on cut flowers in expensive arrangements.  If you decide that the food you serve is more important than the beverages, then discard the idea of an open bar and have champagne served by roving waiters.  If having "the" gown is your dream, and it's price is over your budget, you'll need to fund it from other wedding items.

If you are lucky enough to receive a cash contribution to your wedding from parents, consider investing it in a short term CD that will earn interest before you need to start paying vendors.

One of the most effective ways to manage the budget is to pare down the guest list.  More and more couples are choosing smaller and more intimate weddings.

Wise couples order all of their wedding stationery needs at one time.  Reorders are expensive.  That means that you will need to carefully plan that number.

Monday, November 7, 2016

WEDDING NOTES™ - A Very Big Party!



Your wedding ceremony is the most important part of your day!  No argument there.  But once that memorable event is completed, it is time to celebrate that extraordinary milestone.  That is what your reception is all about - thanking your guests for being part of this wonderful time in your lives and inviting them to help you celebrate.  This is the first time you greet family and friends as a married couple, so it is understandable that you want this first party to be unique, memorable and very special both for you and your guests.

Here are some guidelines to help you plan and deliver an event that will keep everyone talking.

* Give yourself plenty of time by planning your reception at least 9 - 12 months in advance - more if you have your eye on a specific venue that is very popular.  Hot spots can book 18 months in advance or longer.

*Unless you have previously attended a wedding reception at the venue of your choice, it always wise to ask facility personnel if you can observe another reception they are doing so you can see the flow of traffic and how the site handles set up.  Check the number of bathrooms available and the number of servers working the reception.

* Plan to serve food appropriate for the time of day- no dinner food for a 4 PM reception but certainly more than hors d'oeuvres at a 6 PM reception.

*Avoid a cash bar.  If your budget does not cover an open bar, serve something you can afford.  Charging for drinks is like charging a guest for dinner in your home.  You invited these guests.  Also, it is much better to demand that bartenders and musicians do not put out a tip jar.  All gratuities should be handled with the final payments.

* Be sure that musicians are clear about the type of music to play.  There should be a variety so that guests of all ages can enjoy dancing.  Make sure that your MC knows what and when introductions and/or announcements are to be made.

*Guests will continue to bring gifts to the reception.  Make sure that they are kept in a secure room and hire security for the evening if you have any doubts.

*While photos are a critical part of the day, try to make sure photo sessions are not too long and delay reception activities.