Tuesday, February 28, 2012

WEDDING NOTES™ – Be A Good Guest


An invitation is coming your way from a family member or a good friend or both.  It is an honor to be selected to help those close to you celebrate a wonderful part of their life.
If you RSVP with a positive response, you become an official guest at this party.  You will no doubt bring an appropriate wedding gift, but did you know that another gift you give to the couple is the knowledge of how to be a good guest, and the wisdom to use that knowledge.

Here is a checklist of do’s and don’t that you can follow to insure that your behavior will not cause the couple to grimace on their 10th anniversary as they recall events from their wedding.

 

DO

  • Make sure to send your RSVP in a timely manner.
  • Arrive at the wedding at least 15-20 before the ceremony is to begin.
  • Stay standing at the back of the church if you are going to be late.
  • Keep your cell phone on silent.
  • Dress appropriately.
  • Have fun dancing but do not call attention to yourself or your partner.
  • Respect the couple’s wishes even if they aren’t what you would choose.

DON’T

  • Change your mind about attending.  Don’t cancel and then show up anyway.
  • Sit in a front row.  That is for immediate family only.
  • Text or tweet or blog during the ceremony
  • Wear jeans or sweats unless requested by the couple
  • Get in the way of the professional photographer doing his job.
  • Take ceremony or reception photos unless the couple approve.
  • Trash talk the couple’s choices.

Monday, February 20, 2012

WEDDING NOTES™ – Toasts


Weddings inspire lots of toasts!  The first one may be difficult but as the reception or dinner progresses, toasts are offered all around.

Toasts can make one anxious or nervous if not practiced in advance, so like any speech to be given in public, we always encourage those making the toast to be prepared and avoid “winging” their remarks.  The toast maker needs to recognize that his/her remarks are to offer congratulations to the couple.  They may be humorous or touching or congratulatory.  Whichever is chosen, they need to be given in good taste.

Who may toast.
  • The father of the bride proposes the first toast to his daughter and future son-in-law at the engagement party.
  • The host or the father of the groom proposed the first toast to the bride and groom at the rehearsal party.
  • The best man proposed the first toast to the bride and groom at the wedding reception.  After the best man has completed his toast, everyone except the bride and the groom rise and drink to it.
  • After the best man’s toast, the groom usually responds with thanks to his best man and a toast or two of his own – to the bride, to his parents, to his new in-laws.  If the bride wishes she may then rise and offer her own toast to her husband and/or to her new family.
  • Other members of the wedding party may then propose additional toasts if they wish.
  • All guests present (except the person being toasted) should raise their glasses to each toast.
  • At the end of the toasts, the best man may read aloud any congratulatory telegrams or letters or emails sent by absent friends and relatives.

If one has no idea where to start, we suggest finding a marriage related quote around which an appropriate toast may be built.  THE OXFORD DICTIONARY OF QUOTATIONS is a good place to start, as is a careful search of web pages that specialize in wedding appropriate toasts.

One of our favorites is the Apache wedding blessing. 
“Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth for the other.
Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.
May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years.
May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth.”

Monday, February 13, 2012

WEDDING NOTES™ – Insuring The Tuxedo Fits


Men who own their tuxedos have no doubt had the suits fitted by a professional tailor.  However, rental formalwear specialists outfit most wedding parties. To insure a good fit for members of the wedding party, it is important to choose a reputable formalwear dealer and to work closely with the specialist to insure that the style of tuxedo chosen for grooms and their parties will make all the men look their best as well as coordinate with the bride’s party.

Once the style is chosen the groom and the best man should take an active role in insuring that all male members of the wedding party get in to be fitted well in advance of the wedding date.  While formalwear specialists will take the measurements they require, it is helpful if the groom and/or the best man accompany any members of the party coming in to be sized.

A little basic knowledge about sizing men’s suits will help this process proceed more smoothly.  When trying on sample sizes, pay attention to these guidelines.

  • Jackets – A man should be able to fit his hand between his chest and the front of the jacket when it is buttoned.  Back vent (s) should lie flat. The coat should allow free movement of the arms.  Armholes should not be snug. It should fasten easily and not bind.  It should fall smoothly across the back and should not bunch up across the shoulders when the arms move forward.
  • Jacket length – for most standard jackets, the bottom of the jacket should reach the curl of the fingers when the arms are held straight down at the sides.  This allows the shirt cuff to show ½ to l inch.
·        Trousers – should sit at the waist and fit the waist allowing the width of one finger inside the waistband.  Trousers are hemmed so that they barely break as they rest on top of the shoes.  They should fall smoothly in the back to just the top of the heel of the shoe.  Most formal trousers are not cuffed.
·        Vests should button comfortably across the chest.  Vest buttons should line up with the front of the jacket and overlap the waistband on the trousers.

While many men may fuss about having to wear formal clothes, the truth is men look fabulous in well tailored/fitted tuxedos.  Being cooperative at the fitting to determine size and being prompt to try on the rented package so that there is time for any needed adjustments to be made are at the top of the list of “must do” for any member of the groom’s party.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

WEDDING NOTES™ – The Grooms’ Role


Contrary to previous rumors, grooms do have more to do than just “show up at the church on time”.  There may be some who choose not to be involved in the wedding planning process, but many of today’s grooms are interested in helping to plan this milestone moment in their lives.  They want to make the wedding itself a truly shared experience.  Anna Post assembled the list below for the Emily Post Web site.

Each of these “duties” will not only help the wedding planning process, but will truly make the groom feel more a part of the plans.  He certainly can help searching out and selecting the venue for the ceremony and reception, establishing the budget, creating the guest list, making gift registry selections and the critical job of keeping his parents in the loop regarding wedding plans.

In addition to these functions, the groom’s list includes:
  • Selecting the engagement ring – though these days brides may also be involved in selection.
  • Choosing his wedding party – best man, groomsmen and ushers.
  • Choosing the attire for the groom’s wedding party – in keeping with the style of the wedding.
  • Selecting the thank you gifts for his wedding party.
  • Selecting the bride’s wedding gift.
  • Compiling the groom’s part of the guest list and making sure that his parents provide their guest list in a timely manner.
  • Choosing the wedding bands together.
  • Arranging for and purchasing the marriage license.
  • Arranging for transportation from the ceremony to the reception site.
  • Standing in the receiving line and greeting all the guests at the reception.
  • Dancing the first dance with the bride, dancing with the couple’s respective mothers and the maid/matron of honor.
  • Making appropriate toasts at both the rehearsal dinner and the reception.