WEDDING NOTES™ – Avoid These

Experienced wedding planners offer advice to brides because they love what they do.  They have lots of great ideas for creating a fabulous wedding, but they have also learned a number of things they advise their brides to avoid.

• Remember that you have invited guests to a party to celebrate this important day in your life.  Don’t punish them for accepting your invitation to the ceremony and reception by having a big time gap between the two events.  If you want to be married in your childhood church in the country but want a city reception, reconsider the time lag and distance between destinations from the guest’s point of view.  It can be hard to plan a seamless schedule especially if you have your heart set on locations miles apart or have ceremony and reception times that don’t line up, but if that’s what you end up with, consider providing transportation for all guests between locations or find a spot between the two where guests can “hang out” and be comfortable while they wait.

• You may want a destination wedding in an exotic spot, but before you book it consider whether or not your family, wedding party and guests can afford to get there or are able to get there.  You may think that declaring your vows on the edge of an active volcano is highly symbolic of your relationship with the groom, but the likelihood of grandparents making the trek is minimal. As one planner says,” Destination weddings can be terrific, but as with any wedding, it is not only about you, it is also about our guests.”  Where possible select locations that are easy for everyone to reach.  A well traveled spot for example is a good choice.  Plan the wedding well in advance so that potential guests can make arrangements to attend.  Provide travel information and group rates where possible.

• Try to stay in charge of the guest list.  Once the wedding budget is established, you’ll have a good sense of how many guests can comfortably be invited.  If your budget is a six-figure event, relax and let parents invite whomever they feel they must.  But if your budget is more real than imaginary, the list will probably need trimming.  Start early and ask both sets of parents for their preferred guest list in order of preference.  That way you can cut from the bottom if necessary.  Try negotiating the outcomes.  It is a great skill to learn.

• Don’t forget your fiance’.  Yes you are planning a gorgeous wedding – but remember that you are getting married to that guy.  Involve him in the planning process.  There must be an area of special interest to him that he’d like to organize.  Honeymoon plans, transportation, music – ask him what he’d like to do.  You do have a life outside of this wedding, so talk about it, make plans for your future together and remember why you said yes in the first place.  It is not all about crab cakes and ranunculus.