WEDDING NOTES™ - The Invitation Package

At one time the best wedding invitations were engraved fonts in black ink on ivory or white velum.  For the adventuresome, the bride could choose paneled or plain paper stock.  Traditional, elegant, understated.  Compare that to the riot of colors, print styles, papers, trims, formats and content variables available to brides and grooms in today's invitation package.  It's amazing, it's fun, it's personal and if you let it, it's also expensive.

Collecting invitation packages has become fascinating and I thank those consultants who send me samples of some of their favorite examples.  They have been a part of the move to the new traditional for a long time advocate of paneled ivory velum with engraved script.  Keep them coming.

One of my favorites is a 5x7 bright red tri fold booklet that features the invitation centered with a wide range of print sizes and styles - an elaborate monogram of the new couple, and the right flap a folder with tri stacked information sheets on thick stock titled - Eat, Drink, Celebrate (reception information), Where to Stay (details for out of town guests and Getting There - elaborate driving instructions and maps.  Folders were inserted in matching envelopes.  Gorgeous and memorable.

I have an 8 X10 package for a wedding of a couple purchased and printed in India with red paper stock, and gold trim and ink.  Elaborate and elegant and part of my collection.

The new guidelines say "Wedding invitations are about a celebration" so why not have fun with them.  Let them show your personalities and who you are as a couple as well as the "when and where" details of your wedding.  Be creative in the shape of your invitations, the paper texture/color, ink colors, the size or how they are assembled.  Create a book with several pages, bound, including an opening page to announce your upcoming wedding, a page for the ceremony location and time, a page for the reception location and time, a page with special details and a page with a personal note from you to your guests.

You might also want to include a page with your picture as a couple and the story of how you met.  It's a great addition if many of your guests haven't had a chance to meet your groom to be.

The invitation has always been an indicator of the tone of the wedding it is announcing.  Today's bride have many more options available to help create the atmosphere they wish.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Pleasing Others

Yes, your wedding is a happy time, a celebratory time and sometimes - a stressful time.  Managing to pick your way through a minefield of other people's opinions and feelings and ideas is going to take patience and understanding.  You want to make the people who matter to you happy with the wedding decisions.  But sometimes, issues will arise.

One such area to consider is the realm of other people's conflicts.  Every family has "issues".  Two aunts who haven't spoken in years who threaten to boycott the wedding if "the other one" is invited.   A relative who won't be in the wedding party if she doesn't like the bridesmaid dress you've selected.  A family member who doesn't like the place you've chosen for your reception.

Nearly every bride will hear rumblings of discontent regarding some aspect of her wedding plans or who is on or not on the guest list.  What to do?  Evaluate the validity of the complaint.  Can you do anything about it or is it truly "their" problem.  Most experts would caution brides against allowing themselves to be blackmailed into shaping their day around someone else's wants.  And they would caution brides about letting other people foist their issues on the bride's plate.  Recognize that others need to deal with their own conflicts no matter how much they may complain.  As one author said (Richard Carlson, Ph.D. from DON'T SWEAT PRESS) "Scratch "Make everybody happy" off your to do list."  Know that some compromise may sometimes be necessary if the person with the complaint is really close to you.  Some give and take is a wise move but know that bumps will happen.

Further good advice comes from Carlson who says "When the wedding preparations take on a life of their own and you start to wonder if it's all worth it, remember the true purpose of the festivities.  This is a celebration of your love and the union of your lives together.  And that, most certainly, is worth all of the chaos that it may bring."

WEDDING NOTES™ - It's Show Time

Your wedding reception can be more than just a lovely dinner.  Give it some time and attention and you can provide your guests with an experience. Obviously your first consideration is likely to be band vs. DJ for the wedding dance, but consider all of the other "performers" you could hire for short term appearances at your cocktail hour, during dinner or even the after party.

Many couples opt to combine their desire for a live performance rather than recorded by hiring a DJ and a singer/keyboardist combo and have the best of both worlds.  Whatever you choose, make sure you see the band or DJ in action before booking.  You may want a jazz quartet, Motown music, big band sound or classical quartet.  Whatever your preference, be sure you see them perform before they surprise you at your wedding.

You can hire a strolling violinists for your cocktail hour, a jazz singer during dinner, or hire a cellist to play under a spotlight as guests enjoy dinner.  Make sure you have provided him/her with a play list of music you do want and tunes you don't.  If music is a special part of your heritage, be sure the entertainment includes those songs.  Irish tunes, Jewish music, polkas, Italian, Latin, Island/Reggae can all be memorable for you and your guests.  A team of bagpipers can pipe in the wedding party at the start of the reception.

Some couples plan to include giving their guests a show after dinner or during cocktails.  A troupe of Irish dancers,  some belly dancers who work the crowd, ballet dancers doing "Swan Lake" for the "Firebird", a team of professional salsa dancers who give lessons and inspire guests to get out and dance.  For a beach themed wedding consider a group of Hula Dancers.  Consider a gospel choir for the ceremony and/or reception.

If yours is an informal/outdoor wedding, consider hiring jugglers, face painters, acrobats and artists who would do character sketches of your guests.  Magicians, a cappella singing groups or dueling pianos can make your wedding memorable for your guests.