Tuesday, April 12, 2016

WEDDING NOTES™ - Pleasing Others


Yes, your wedding is a happy time, a celebratory time and sometimes - a stressful time.  Managing to pick your way through a minefield of other people's opinions and feelings and ideas is going to take patience and understanding.  You want to make the people who matter to you happy with the wedding decisions.  But sometimes, issues will arise.

One such area to consider is the realm of other people's conflicts.  Every family has "issues".  Two aunts who haven't spoken in years who threaten to boycott the wedding if "the other one" is invited.   A relative who won't be in the wedding party if she doesn't like the bridesmaid dress you've selected.  A family member who doesn't like the place you've chosen for your reception.

Nearly every bride will hear rumblings of discontent regarding some aspect of her wedding plans or who is on or not on the guest list.  What to do?  Evaluate the validity of the complaint.  Can you do anything about it or is it truly "their" problem.  Most experts would caution brides against allowing themselves to be blackmailed into shaping their day around someone else's wants.  And they would caution brides about letting other people foist their issues on the bride's plate.  Recognize that others need to deal with their own conflicts no matter how much they may complain.  As one author said (Richard Carlson, Ph.D. from DON'T SWEAT PRESS) "Scratch "Make everybody happy" off your to do list."  Know that some compromise may sometimes be necessary if the person with the complaint is really close to you.  Some give and take is a wise move but know that bumps will happen.

Further good advice comes from Carlson who says "When the wedding preparations take on a life of their own and you start to wonder if it's all worth it, remember the true purpose of the festivities.  This is a celebration of your love and the union of your lives together.  And that, most certainly, is worth all of the chaos that it may bring."

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