WEDDING NOTES™ - Are You Coming?

It is always amazing when seemingly well informed people don't RSVP when the invitation clearly requests it.

Knowing the total number of expected guests is critical at weddings and other large events.  Costs and deadlines involved in meal planning and preparation require that information.  One wonders why some people don't feel the need to reply.  Emily Post has said, "No one is obligated to accept an invitation or to explain their reasons for not accepting.  However, when someone is kind enough to extend an invitation, one should be just as kind and reply to the invitation."  Not everyone gets it!

What can you do when you have invited someone to your wedding and have included a reply card with a return date and you still haven't heard?  Ask for help!  A good solution is to ask family members and bridesmaids to help you contact those people who have yet to reply.  If a phone call is in order, helpers can say something like this:  "Hi ______.  This is ________ and I am calling to make sure that you have received the invitation to ______________'s wedding.  The bride has not heard from you as yet and needs to know if you plan to attend.  The guest count needs to be in by _____________.  Everyone is looking forward to seeing you.  Will you be there?"  If you are leaving a voice mail message, add "Please call me back at ______________.

If you are an invited guest, here are helpful hints for you to remember.

• ·         Respond in the same manner that the invitation was issued.  If it came via email then an email response is in order.  Likewise with a text message.  Hopefully few wedding invitations come that way.

• ·         Reply as soon as possible.  Don't put the invitation in your "to do" pile unless you need to ask the availability of the other person whose name may be on the invitation with yours.

• ·         Keep your reply brief.  If you cannot attend, there is no need to go into great detail about why you can't be there.

• ·         If a reply is not requested, it is not necessary to respond.  However, it is nice to let the host know when you cannot attend.