WEDDING NOTES™ - Invitation Etiquette

Yes, life is less formal these days.  Yes, times have changed but when you receive an invitation to an event there are some obligations if you are to remain on the guest list.  These reminders are from Emily Post - THE social interaction specialist.

·         RSVP This term is from the French.  It means "Repondez, s'ilvous plait", or please reply.  It has been around for a long time and it is telling you that your host really wants to know if you are coming to his/her event.  The expectation is that you will reply promptly.

·         How to reply - You respond in the manner indicated on the invitation.  If there is no response card included, sent a handwritten response to the host at the return address on the envelope.

If there is a response card fill it in and return it in the envelope provided by the date indicated.

If it states RSVP and gives a phone number, telephone and speak to a person - answering machines can be unreliable.  If it says respond electronically, you may do so.  Some invitations state "Regrets Only".  Reply only if you cannot attend.  If you don't reply it is the same thing as      attending.  You'll be expected.  In the rare instance where no reply is requested, it is still polite         to let someone know you'll be there.  A phone call will work.     

·         What if you change your mind?  If you change a "yes" to a "no" be aware that it is only acceptable in case of illness, a death in the family or an unavoidable professional or business conflict.  Call the host immediately and express regret.  Know that being a "no show" is unacceptable.  If you change a "no" to a "yes" it's ok only if it will not upset the host or hostess' arrangements.  Always ask before you just show up.

·         What if you want to bring someone?  Don't even ask!  Assume the invitation was extended to the people whose names are on the invitation and no one else.   If the invitation includes the phrase Mr. John Smith and Guest - assume you may bring a date.  Don't assume you can bring your children to the event.  If they were invited the invitation would have said so.