WEDDING NOTES™ – Guest Tips

Your college roommate is getting married in June. Your cousin is getting married in July. A co-worker is planning an August wedding. While the bridal couple may be knee deep in planning, guests have a role to play in helping the couple have a wonderful wedding. Guests are invited to provide public witness to the legal ceremony taking place and to help the newly wedded celebrate the importance of the steps they have taken. Marriage is a public statement indicating the new legal status of the couple. 

While there aren’t many “rules” about what it means to be a wedding guest, there are some time honored expectations and one question - what should I wear to the wedding - is real. While our culture may seem more casual than in decades past, this is still an important event that one honors by dressing appropriately. Check the web page of the couple for clues to how formal the wedding is likely to be. Ask members of the bridal party if you know them. Here are some guidelines to help you decide.

• Don’t dress to stand out. Remember that the bride and groom are the stars of this production. 
• Men should wear a tie (unless the wedding is at a beach somewhere). 
• When in doubt, it is usually better to overdress rather than under dress. 
• Avoid any low cut, tight and/or skimpy dress. Watch the sequins and the glitter. 
• A black cocktail dress is ok, while white can be iffy. If one does choose white, it is necessary to make sure that it looks nothing like a wedding gown. Creamy white and simple style that is totally different from the gown is better. 
• If the wedding is to be “informal” nailing down appropriate apparel can be tough. Ask around to get a feeling of what other guests are planning. Take a cue from where the ceremony is being held. If it is in a large cathedral that will tell you one thing. If it is in a party room at a horse ranch, you know that informal means something else. If you get no clue from the ceremony location, try the reception spot next. A country club cocktail reception will mean something quite different than a reception where beach volleyball will be the main entertainment. 
• If the wedding is semi formal, it means that men should wear a suit and tie. At one time dark suits were indicated, but that is relaxed now and tan or khaki suits are OK. Women should wear a suit, a tailored dress or pant suit. She could add some “bling” but don’t overdo it. 
• If a wedding is clearly a formal affair, men should wear tuxedos and women should wear cocktail dresses – long or short. 

Whatever level of dress a guest decides upon, the other item to include is one’s best manners. This is an important day in life of a couple and one honors them by behaving well. Wearing one’s best behavior is always in style.