WEDDING NOTES™ - Prepare Your Itinerary

It's hard to believe but it's finally here!  Your wedding day.   You've been knee deep in plans for what seems like months, but you've done it right.  You've kept flawless notes on all decisions you've made.  You've checked and double checked vendors, your guest count is in and all systems are go.  The one final thing you really must do is lay out your Wedding Day Itinerary.  Who is doing what, where and when?

Here are some suggestions for creating that itinerary.

• ·         Begin with the start times you know.  You know when the ceremony is to start and you know when the reception is scheduled.  Plug those times in and work forward and backward as you fill in the schedule.

• ·         Confirm those set up and start times with each of your vendors.

• ·         Schedule departure and arrival times for each venue being sure to include estimated travel times.

• ·         Schedule any pre-ceremony events like hair, makeup and photo sessions.

• ·         If yours is a formal reception, confirm and review the timing for the formalities planned - the grand entrance, toasts, first dance, cake cutting etc. with the location manager and the music or master of ceremonies you've engaged.

• ·         Double check with the florist on delivery and set up times you've arranged.  Make sure they have given you back up phone numbers in case of emergency.

• ·         Make sure that every vendor has contact names and phone numbers for you, or your parents and/or the reception hosts.

• ·         Make sure that you have contact names and phone numbers for each and every vendor servicing your wedding.  Note their appointed delivery times and places and entrust this information to your personal attendant, or wedding coordinator.

• ·         Make sure that the photographer(s) with whom you've contracted know where they are to be and at what time.  Get their mobile phone numbers so you can maintain contact with them before and during the events.  Make sure they have a copy of the names of those people you want in family photos.  If the photographer doesn't have an assistant, ask one of your cousins or close friends to act in that capacity.

• ·         RELAX - you've done your best.  You've covered all bases.  Enjoy your day.  It is the first day of the rest of your life together.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Gown Questions

The bridal gown is the most important piece of clothing most women will ever purchase.  For some, the task becomes all consuming and can go on for weeks.  Other bride-to-be go to one store whose reputation they know, try on a few different looks and settle on THE DRESS in one visit.  Whatever your shopping style, here are some guidelines to keep in mind.

• ·         Have a strong sense of the degree of formality you want your wedding to have.  That will drive your gown selection.

• ·         Plan to start shopping for your wedding gown around 6-8 months in advance of your date.  This should also sufficient time for making your selection, getting it ordered, and arranging for any alterations that may ultimately be required.

• ·         Order it no later than 6 months before the wedding.  Since it sets the tone of the ceremony, it will be good to have that decision made.  You can then proceed with bridesmaid and mothers gowns.  You'll have swatches for the florist too.

• ·         When you go gown shopping wear proper undergarments, shoes in the height you plan to wear and any family heirloom jewelry that is a "must wear" for you.

• ·         Do not be tempted to invite every woman you know to go gown shopping with you.  Descending on a bridal shop with a dozen of your "near and dear" is a huge mistake.  Take your mom and maybe one good friend whose opinion you value.  This is a personal decision - not a gang vote.  Besides, what bride wants the world to know about her dress before she walks down the aisle in it?

• ·         Be open to the use of color in wedding gowns.  Ivory tones are spectacular on certain complexions and pale blush or pastel trims can make your gown choice truly unique.

• ·         Why might I need alterations?  Virtually every gown will require some adjustment to insure a perfect fit.  You may need hem length adjustments or neckline tucks.  Some modest changes can make your gown uniquely yours.  Plan ahead.

• ·         Work with your consultant.  She knows her merchandise very well and can be a helpful advisor as she shows you various styles and silhouettes.  She knows her business and her business is helping you have the gown you want for your wedding day.

WEDDING NOTES™ - What Makes a Wedding Semi Formal? Informal?

These are the traditional guidelines for a semiformal wedding.  As with the term formal, knowing the guidelines helps to influence all other planning decisions.  But know also, that many brides combine these guidelines and some use the "menu" approach and take one from column A and one from column B.  Today's couples are truly more focused on how they want their wedding to look and be remembered.

With that in mind, understand that today's couples are also focused on creating an event that is unique to them and as such may pick and choose from the traditional guidelines.

If you are planning a semi formal wedding, you will likely follow these guidelines.

• ·         The ceremony will be held in a church, synagogue, private home or outdoors.

• ·         The reception will be held at a ceremony location, a club, garden, restaurant, hotel or home.

• ·         There will be fewer than 100 guests

• ·         Invitations may be printed with traditional or personalized wording.

• ·         The bride will wear a floor-length or cocktail-length gown with a veil or hat.

• ·         The groom will wear a tuxedo or suit and tie.  HIs attendants will match.

• ·         Bride and groom each have between one and three attendants.

• ·         Bridesmaids wear matching gowns the same length as the bride.

• ·         Guests wear evening or business dress.

• ·         Reception meal can be anything from a sit-down dinner to buffet or light refreshments

• ·         Live music or disc jockey

• ·         Modest or scaled- down floral arrangements and event design.

If you are planning an informal wedding, the following guidelines will be helpful.

• ·         Daytime ceremonies held at a home, community center, hotel or in judge's chambers

• ·         Fewer than 50 guests

• ·         Printed or hand-written invitations with personalized wording.

• ·         The bride will wear a simple gown, suit or cocktail-length dress with no veil or train.

• ·         The groom will wear a dark business suit and tie.

• ·         Bride and groom each have one attendant

• ·         Maid of honor wears a street-length dress and best man wears a suit and tie.

• ·         Reception usually held at a home, ceremony site, or a restaurant.

• ·         A simple meal or light refreshments are served.

• ·         Floral designs are simple and understated.

WEDDING NOTES™ - What Makes a Wedding Semi Formal? Informal?

These are the traditional guidelines for a semiformal wedding.  As with the term formal, knowing the guidelines helps to influence all other planning decisions.  But know also, that many brides combine these guidelines and some use the "menu" approach and take one from column A and one from column B.  Today's couples are truly more focused on how they want their wedding to look and be remembered.

With that in mind, understand that today's couples are also focused on creating an event that is unique to them and as such may pick and choose from the traditional guidelines.

If you are planning a semi formal wedding, you will likely follow these guidelines.

• ·         The ceremony will be held in a church, synagogue, private home or outdoors.

• ·         The reception will be held at a ceremony location, a club, garden, restaurant, hotel or home.

• ·         There will be fewer than 100 guests

• ·         Invitations may be printed with traditional or personalized wording.

• ·         The bride will wear a floor-length or cocktail-length gown with a veil or hat.

• ·         The groom will wear a tuxedo or suit and tie.  HIs attendants will match.

• ·         Bride and groom each have between one and three attendants.

• ·         Bridesmaids wear matching gowns the same length as the bride.

• ·         Guests wear evening or business dress.

• ·         Reception meal can be anything from a sit-down dinner to buffet or light refreshments

• ·         Live music or disc jockey

• ·         Modest or scaled- down floral arrangements and event design.

If you are planning an informal wedding, the following guidelines will be helpful.

• ·         Daytime ceremonies held at a home, community center, hotel or in judge's chambers

• ·         Fewer than 50 guests

• ·         Printed or hand-written invitations with personalized wording.

• ·         The bride will wear a simple gown, suit or cocktail-length dress with no veil or train.

• ·         The groom will wear a dark business suit and tie.

• ·         Bride and groom each have one attendant

• ·         Maid of honor wears a street-length dress and best man wears a suit and tie.

• ·         Reception usually held at a home, ceremony site, or a restaurant.

• ·         A simple meal or light refreshments are served.

• ·         Floral designs are simple and understated.

WEDDING NOTES™ - What Makes a Wedding Formal?

One of the questions our consultants are frequently asked is "what does it mean that the wedding is formal or not?"  The easy answer is "whatever you want it to mean".  But that isn't the answer most brides want.  What follows are the criteria that have long been used to shape and define various weddings and degrees of formality.

FORMAL - These are the traditional guidelines for a formal wedding.

• ·         The ceremony is held in a church, synagogue, or luxury hotel

• ·         The reception is held in a luxury hotel, private club or private estate

• ·         There are 100 or more guests

• ·         Invitations are engraved with traditional wording

• ·         The bride wears a floor-length gown with a chapel- length or sweeping train, a veil that is at least fingertip length and gloves (now optional)

• ·         The groom wears a cutaway (before 6 pm) or white tie and tails (after 6 pm)

• ·         Bridesmaids wear floor- length gowns

• ·         Male attendants wear matching cutaways or tails.

• ·         Guests wear formal attire or evening wear

• ·         The reception features a sit-down dinner

• ·         There is live entertainment

• ·         There is elaborate floral and event design

• ·         There is luxury transportation.

Note:  One consultants who specializes in very formal weddings shares this distinction:  "Ultra formal weddings follow the same guidelines as formal weddings, but with a heightened sense of formality and drama...Expect that a very formal wedding would have 200 or more guests, between four and 10 or 12 attendants, and a white tie dress code.  The bride's gown as well the wedding party's attire, and the guests' should reflect this very formal style."

WEDDING NOTES™ - The Legalities to Remember

As lovely and personal and exciting this wedding is going to be, the wise couple remembers that it much more.  Your very personal and beautifully planned event is also a civil event in which a new legal entity is created.  There are a number of factors to consider once the bride and the groom are pronounced man and wife.

·         The prenuptial agreement- While it may not be romantic to consider one, there are circumstances in which a contract concerning expectations or property can be very helpful.  These agreements give the couple an opportunity to cover certain circumstances.  For example, it is a second marriage for both and each has children from a former marriage, an agreement might protect the rights of each partner's children, or the parents of the bride or the groom may be giving the couple a valuable antique.  The family may wish to have this heirloom remain in the family in the event of divorce.  A prenuptial agreement may state how you will handle savings or how household expenses will be shared.  Such agreements should be well thought out and reviewed by a lawyer, signed by both parties plus witnesses and notarized.

·         The marriage license -   Know that each state has its own requirements for blood tests, waiting time and age of consent , so do check with public officials for all the details.

·         The marriage certificate - Following your ceremony, your witnesses and the officiant (and in some states the bride and groom as well) will all sign the civil certificate.  Some couples may include the signing in their ceremony (a Quaker custom).  Your church or synagogue may also issue its own certificate.  Generally your officiant will file your marriage certificate with the proper authorities and you'll receive a copy some weeks later by mail.

·         Changing your name -Once married the bride can choose to use her husband's surname, continue to use her maiden name, or combine the two to suit the couple's choice.  If any change of name is done, you'll need to record than name change on all legal documents and papers.  Here are a few:

*Driver's license                        *Car Registration

*Passport                                 *Social Security card

*Insurance Policies                    *Will

*Voter Registration card            *Checking Account

*Savings Accounts                    *Credit Cards

*Stock Certificates                    *Employee I.D. cards

*Post Office

WEDDING NOTES™ - Showers

Bridal showers have a long tradition.  They are parties with a purpose!  They are given to help the couple outfit their new home or assemble a trousseau.  It is a vestige of the age-old dowry, or wealth which a woman brought to her marriage.  It is generally given by women who are good friends of the bride-to-be, sometimes by a relative or most often by the honor attendant or bridesmaids.  They may be given by relative of the groom's family and are a nice way for the bride-to-be to meet members of her new family.

While at one time showers were given to help the new couple furnish necessities, today's showers are given around a variety of themes.

·         Kitchen showers are probably the most popular because of the wide range of items that nearly every couple can use.  One variation on the kitchen theme asks each guest to bring a favorite recipe along with one item needed for its preparation (e.g., a flour sifter with a cake recipe).  Many hostesses sent out uniform recipe cards in advance so they can be assembled in an easy to use box or notebook.

·         For an around-the-clock shower, each guest is assigned an hour of the day and then brings a gift to match along with a note explaining why that gift was chosen.  There are many possibilities:  an alarm clock, coffee mugs, newspaper or magazine subscriptions, a casserole dish for dinner, a bottle of wine for the cocktail hour, comfy slippers for evening lounging.

·         A service shower is perfect for the couple that seems to have everything.  Guests pledge a way to help in the future - a catered dinner for two, an offer to paint the living room of the house they're redecorating, Saturday morning yard work, a weekend at a guest's lake cabin.

·         An office shower could be perfect for the woman with a busy career:  a leather-bound weekly planner for the home, engraved stationery,attache' case, books, gift certificate for a Kindle, a week's worth of dinners for two prepared, frozen and clearly marked.

·         Women only showers are naturals for lingerie, sewing accessories, closet and/or drawer organizers, gift certificates for beauty salon or masseuse services.

·         Couples showers suggest his-and-her tools for household maintenance, plants, wines/liquors, sporting goods and games.