WEDDING NOTES™ - Plugged In or Not?

This era of Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and hashtags, some additional social "rules" are being developed.  And it is a wise couple that addresses the issues raised by social media before their wedding so that guests know their preferences in advance.  It should not be stated on the formal wedding invitations.  There is no line for "please unplug".  However, it can be stated on the couple's wedding web page, printed on the programs, by a printed reminder posted at the guest book or even a part of an admonition from the celebrant at the ceremony.

As one wedding planner has said, "It's obviously not going to go away ---it's about managing it."  "There are some large issues like when a friend share's a photo of the bride's dress when they are out shopping that are not appropriate.  You always have the person who overshares."  It is understandable that couples want to be able to control the images that go out there for their wedding.

Here are some hints from experienced wedding planners about how to manage social media etiquette.

• ·         Guests should refrain from taking photos during the ceremony.  That has been a long standing rule and is not unique to this electronic age.  The problem for today is the number of cameras in the room.  At one time there were maybe 3 or 4 in addition to the professional photographer hired to capture those once in a lifetime opportunities.  Now every guest with a phone has a camera.  Spread the message widely. 

• ·         Guests should be sensitive to the photos they do post.  Photos should show the bride and groom in the best light.  Save those candid shots of the bride or groom for the couple alone.

• ·         The bride and groom should both unplug for the day.  Focusing on the events of the big day rather than checking messages or snapping photos should be the guiding theme.  They should both agree on the social media stance.  Guests should unplug during the ceremony.

• ·         It is an absolute no-no to show photos of the bride's gown before the wedding day.  Even if a bridesmaid took photos in the fitting room while shopping with the bride, IT DOES NOT GO PUBLIC.  Do not post!!!!

• ·         Do not post anything about the wedding without clearing it with the couple first.  Honor the couple's privacy.  It is common courtesy.

• ·         Unless you are a professional photographer hired by the couple, do not post video content on YouTube or other social media outlet.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Five Mistakes Brides Make When Shopping For Their Wedding Gown

1.  Bringing an Entourage -  It's hard to know if the reality TV shows have influenced the bride and convinced her that she needs to have a dozen opinions about her wedding gown before she can make a choice.  If it isn't the TV shows then there must be something in the water.  It is not a good idea to show up with a crowd.  It is stressful for the bride and adds very little to the efficiency of the day.  Most consultants will caution the bride to bring at most - her best friend, her mother and maybe one other person whose opinion she values.  Unless the bride to be has promised grandma that she can have the final word on the bride's gown in return for paying for it, try to keep the crowd down.  For practical matters, many bridal shops are simply not equipped to deal with 8- 10 extra people with each bridal party.  Do yourself a favor and take only those few persons whose opinion you value.

2.  Shopping too Early - We know that brides are excited to begin the search for THE GOWN, but more than 12 months in advance is seen as a hindrance rather than a blessing.  Styles can (and will) change, your tastes may change, your plans may change.  Before the great gown search begins, you should have a good handle on your wedding budget, the venues for the ceremony and reception and the kind of wedding you have in mind.  Certainly buy the wedding magazines, start thinking about your wedding themes and potential sites, but until things are locked down and you know how much you can spend and the sites you've chosen, it is better to wait.

3.  Trying on too many gowns - We all know brides who have found their gown after trying on only a couple of styles, but out of fear that they will miss some other gown if they don't shop around and try on dozens of gowns, they keep going from store to store.  Some brides brag that they have tried on dozens of dresses.  Others claim that it is fun to try on dozens at an equal number of wedding salons.  But most experienced consultants suggest that trying on more than 7 or 10 tops, is a waste of time because gowns become "a sea of white" and the bride emerges confused not delighted.

4.  Demanding the wrong size- Wedding gowns can run 1 to 2 sizes smaller than RTW.  Don't get hung up on a specific size.  Sizes can vary from designer to designer.  Listen to the consultant who is assisting in the fitting room and remember that alterations are always easier when a gown has to be taken in rather than let out.

5.  Being swayed by deep discount - Everyone likes a bargain and if the dress you love and must have is on sale, then good for you.  But to buy your wedding gown solely because "it is such a fabulous deal" isn't the best idea.  We always caution a bride against buying a dress she doesn't love just because it is on sale.

To insure that you shop for the best with the best, plan to shop for and purchase your gown at a full service bridal salon where the selection and service will make this once in a lifetime event  a truly memorable one.  Shop at a store that has been selected for membership in National Bridal Service.