WEDDING NOTES™ – Bridal Registry Tips

Newly married couples have been given gifts for centuries.  At one time, after the couple furnished their home, they were expected to return any practical gifts they received but did not use.  Today’s couples are congratulated by gifts from friends and family and the gifts they receive help the couple stock up on the items needed to make a house a home.

To truly value and enjoy the gifts that a couple will receive, we suggest that they make excellent use of bridal registries.

• Don’t hesitate to register.  Your guests really want to buy you something you want and will enjoy.  Registering saves your guests time and keeps you from having to return duplicates.  Don’t feel like you are “begging” for gifts.  Rather, you are in fact, providing a welcome service to your guests.
• Don’t wait until the last minute to register.  Many of your guests will want to buy gifts well before the actual event.  Some buy engagement and shower gifts from the registries as well.
• Include your partner in the selection process so that the registry lists include things that you will both enjoy.
• Register at two or three places.  This gives your guests a range of options without overwhelming them.  Pick at least one specialty store, a mid price supplier and an inexpensive retailer.  It is recommended that your lists include an equal number of mid price items and lower cost items and a smaller list of big- ticket items.
• Our experience has shown that brides who are planning large weddings should register for a lot of items which those who have smaller guest lists might consider registering few items.
• You may wish to list your registry locations on your web site.  But never, never, never, include this information in your paper invitations.

For answers to more questions, stop in and talk with our experienced consultants.  We can guide you through the process and make very helpful suggestions.

WEDDING NOTES™ – When a Marriage Ends

The early end to the Kardashian/Humphries nuptials has focused unfortunate attention on the wedding gift arena.  After only 72 days of marriage, most people in the Western Hemisphere know that Kim Kardashian Humphries filed for divorce.  While various groups have various views on why it happened, what many celebrity watchers are wondering is “What happens to the gifts?”

This is an area that rarely gets talked about because the couple’s focus is on their upcoming wedding.  It is exciting and happy and busy and no one thinks that his/her wedding will come unglued so quickly.  Most couples talk about “forever and ever.”  Unfortunately, that doesn’t come true for some.

The rule of thumb has always been that wedding gifts received for any wedding, which ends at or around six months must be returned.  (Emily Post)  That clearly includes Kim K.  Traditionally, it is also expected that any gifts that have been used do not need to be returned.  The exception is the monster diamond engagement ring Kris gave Kim.  She may keep the ring since it was a gift from the groom to his bride.

What other guidelines exist to cover this situation?  The bride and groom should be sending handwritten notes to each of their guests in which they thank the individuals for attending their ceremony and letting them know that the marriage is being dissolved.  In the note they need to reference the gift received and its disposition – either returned to the giver or donated in their name to a special charity.  If the gift was cash, it needs to be returned to the giver. 

One can only hope that the couple goes about “uncoupling” in a quiet and dignified manner.  No parties or celebrations should be held.

This doesn’t happen often, but as wedding professionals we know how to advise the bride who finds herself in this unfortunate situation.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Dress Hunting

For many brides the most exciting part of being engaged is the process of finding “the perfect dress”.  At one time it was a process shrouded in mystery.  Now thanks to the many TV shows devoted to gown selection, brides have some ideas about how to go about this wonderful experience.  Some principles have stood brides in good stead for decades.  Here are some areas for today’s brides to consider before they begin to look for that gown.

1. Many brides have a good sense of their own fashion preferences.  They know what looks good on them.  Think about what you wear and why it looks good.  What are your fashion preferences?  Are you tailored, frilly, feminine, or casual?  Do you want a gown that reflects those looks or is your wedding gown to be a complete departure?  Think about the “look” you want for your wedding.  Look at magazines, check out web sites and make notes of the styles that catch your eye.  When you go into a wedding salon, one of the questions you’ll be asked is “Do you have any styles in mind?”  The wedding consultant who will be assisting you in your selection process will prefer to start with gowns that reflect your personal tastes.

2. Be honest with yourself about your body shape.  If you are tall, you’re lucky.  Lots of gowns are made for tall brides.  If you are short, you’re lucky.  Many designers see the petite bride as their specialty.  If you are heavier in the bust, or in the hips, or thighs, or shoulders – be honest with yourself and let the wedding consultant work with you to find the perfect dress to accent or camouflage certain areas.

3. Think about color.  Gowns are shown in bridal white, soft creamy ivory, silver, gold and all shades in between.  Color trims can accent most gowns.  What are your most flattering shades? 

4. When you go into a store to try on gowns, go prepared.  Wear good underwear – especially a bra and any foundation garment you think you may wish to wear under your gown.  If something special is needed for the gown you ultimately choose, your wedding consultant can help with that.  You should wear a shoe with the approximate heel height you’ll wear for the ceremony.

5. Don’t focus on your dress size.  I watched a TV show in which the bride to be refused to consider a dress that looked fabulous on her because it wasn’t a size 2.  She stated that she only wore size 2.  Well forget about the number.  Every designer has his/her version of sizing.  That’s why you are working with a professional wedding consultant.  She knows her merchandise, the designers she has selected for her store and she will find you the perfect dress with a perfect fit.  Don’t worry about size and don’t order a smaller dress size “planning to fit into it”.  Be guided by the consultant.

6. Give yourself plenty of time to order the gown, be prepared to make a deposit on your order and think carefully before taking a group with you.  One person whose taste you respect is truly enough – two tops!  It is a special time for you to pick out the gown that means the most to you – not to the cousins, godmothers and sorority friends you’ve gathered to participate in this event.

We’ve had years of experience in helping brides.  Stop in and let one of our certified wedding consultants assist you.

WEDDING NOTES™ – I’m Happy – But Stressed

The good news?   You’re engaged.  The less wonderful news? You’re feeling the stress.

It is a happy time, but we know that stress can set in as you try to deal with the myriad of details that threaten to drown you.  You have decisions to make about the ceremony and reception locations, what to wear, attendants to select, whom to invite, what flowers, music and photographers to choose.  There are budget questions to solve.  All these issues can generate a case of “wedding jitters”.

To relieve your stress or at least make it manageable, we offer these key points.

• If money issues generate the stress, take the time as a couple to determine your priorities.  List the items of most important to you both.  From a list of 10-20, select the top 5.  These five – listed in priority order – are the items on which you are less likely to compromise.  Then as you review your budget, you can “borrow” from the other items on your list to keep the budget in balance.  If you have your heart set on a particular gown, you can help pay for it by saving money on flowers or photography etc.
  
  
• If the stress is coming from family, be clear about the source of the stress and firm about communicating your feelings.  Talk out the issues you see with your parents, friends and those involved.  Be gracious but firm about expressing views and concerns.  Don’t “stuff” the feelings so they end up hurting a relationship

• If the stress is coming from the crush of events and the sense of being overwhelmed by everything you sense must be done, SHARE the responsibilities.  Hire a wedding planner, enlist the groom, ask parents to take over specific jobs.  Get yourself a wedding planning book (hard copy or on line version) and be faithful about entering plans made.  Follow its suggestions for organizing your projects.

• Get enough sleep and take care of your health by eating well.  Make good use of your gym membership and exercise away the stress.

• When it all seems too much, speak with our certified and experienced consultants.  They can help you put it all in perspective and remind you of what is really important in this wedding you are planning.