WEDDING NOTES™ – Wedding Flowers

Choosing the flowers for your wedding can be a big decision.  Picking the style, color and budget allocations can be daunting.  But if you spend some time thinking about what you want, the selections of these important wedding accessories can give you the WOW factor you want for your wedding.

Selecting a florist is an important first step.  Ask for suggestions from friends, your wedding planner, or other bridal professionals.  Visit florists whose work you like.   Ask to see photos from actual weddings they have done.

 Think about how you will fund the flowers you want.  As you establish your wedding budget, think about the role you expect  flowers to play.  Wedding planners generally suggest a three part budget allocation.  Flowers for the reception are an important consideration since this where guests will see flowers first hand.  Many planners suggest the largest allocation here.

Secondly are flowers for the wedding party and immediate family.  Remember that bridal party bouquets are the most heavily photographed so don’t cut too many corners there.  Having bridesmaids carry a single rose for example, can be economical, but remember that single buds tend to look strange in photographs with stems sticking out in several directions.  Bridesmaids tend to carry them awkwardly.

Third and finally, consider ceremony flowers.  The church or venue will likely give you guidelines as to what is allowed.  If yours is one of several ceremonies taking place at a church in busy months, it makes sense to combine forces and dollars with other brides and choose ceremony flowers that will stay in place for all weddings.  If the space is huge, consider filling it with rental greenery.  If yours is a Christmas wedding, the chances are excellent that the decorations already in place for church services will be all you need.

For other ideas on how to make the most of your floral budget, stop in a see one of our experienced consultants.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Musts for the Bride to Be

As plans ramp up and your focus is THE WEDDING at the expense of other aspects of your life, take the advice of many wedding planners and Practice Self Care. Do whatever you need to do to unwind, relax and sleep well.  Take your vitamins, get healthy exercise and find emotional outlets for the stress you are under.  Remember your groom.  Do fun things together and plan together.  This is not the time to get run down and “catch” the bug that is making the rounds.  You need to be healthy and strong and resilient.

Get and stay organized. Start early and document every decision made around your special day.  It doesn’t matter if you have high tech records or sheets of paper clipped together or in file folders or paper bags.  Whatever system works for you- implement it early and keep it current.  

Set a budget and stick to it.  Early on the couple should sit down together and decide how much they can afford to spend on the wedding and where they feel it should be spent.  Agree on priorities.  Talk honestly with parents about their willingness and ability to contribute to the wedding.  Look at the major expense items – reception costs, honeymoon, clothing, photographs, entertainment, and flowers. Working within those guidelines makes other decisions easier.

Remember to be grateful for all that you have and all that others are doing for you.  You will get gifts, good wishes and offers of assistance.  Remember to thank everyone for their offers.  Weddings are joyous affairs and people want to be a part of a positive and exciting event that a marriage truly is.

Remember your plans and don’t be derailed.  You’ve set your budget and made significant decisions.  Don’t be tempted to play “one ups manship”.   You’ll go to other weddings while planning yours and see lots of ideas.  Some you’ll want to copy and others you won’t but before you do, remember your budget.  This is your wedding – not a copy of your old college roommate’s big day.  She had her event.  You’ll have yours.

Let go of bridal guilt.  No one can make everyone happy all the time.  Worrying about it takes up far more time and energy than is deserved.  Sometimes guilt is good.  It can help us deal with the feelings of others.  But most of the time, we are afraid we’ve let someone down.  Do your best to be aware of the feelings of others and honor them when you can.  But on the wedding day, you are there to please yourself and your groom as you begin your new life together.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Favorite Themes and Trends

Wedding planners contributed the top themes they are seeing for the year.  While it is fun to get ideas from these themes, what matters most is that the bride and groom have a wedding which is true to their vision.  The theme that the couple selects should have some personal relevance and meaning to them as a couple.  Why bother with a theme?  It provides a sense of continuity to all decisions made about the wedding – from the gowns to the flowers to the reception venue and the foods chosen.

Decisions are so much easier once the theme for the wedding is established.  Whether it is a color or a location or a time period or event,  the focus is there to insure that this  life changing celebration is memorable for participants and guests alike.

• History lovers may wish to be married in the “Roaring Twenties” of F. Scott Fitzgerald.  Art Deco can be the design focus.  Jazz was king and flappers wore short gowns and bling was everywhere.  As one planner noted, “most of the candy popular today, hit the markets in the 1920’s.   What a perfect reason to set up a sweets table for Milk Duds, Baby Ruth bars and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

• World travelers – or dreamers – will find a wonderful theme in exotic locations.  Tropical isles, far Eastern spots or Scottish highlands all provide a structure for food, décor, dress and paper products.

• Bright colors against neutral backgrounds can be very effective.  Instead of carrying out a color theme in the bridesmaid dresses, have the maids in a basic shade like platinum and carry out the color theme in the flowers and reception décor.

• The ceremony and/or reception location can provide the theme for a wedding.  If a museum is chosen as the venue, art and sculpture become the theme.  If a garden or beach or ranch is chosen as the site, the theme becomes clear.

• Medieval accents combined with fairy tale touches work well in historic buildings or modern redos which retain the original stone walls and structures.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Avoid These

Experienced wedding planners offer advice to brides because they love what they do.  They have lots of great ideas for creating a fabulous wedding, but they have also learned a number of things they advise their brides to avoid.

• Remember that you have invited guests to a party to celebrate this important day in your life.  Don’t punish them for accepting your invitation to the ceremony and reception by having a big time gap between the two events.  If you want to be married in your childhood church in the country but want a city reception, reconsider the time lag and distance between destinations from the guest’s point of view.  It can be hard to plan a seamless schedule especially if you have your heart set on locations miles apart or have ceremony and reception times that don’t line up, but if that’s what you end up with, consider providing transportation for all guests between locations or find a spot between the two where guests can “hang out” and be comfortable while they wait.

• You may want a destination wedding in an exotic spot, but before you book it consider whether or not your family, wedding party and guests can afford to get there or are able to get there.  You may think that declaring your vows on the edge of an active volcano is highly symbolic of your relationship with the groom, but the likelihood of grandparents making the trek is minimal. As one planner says,” Destination weddings can be terrific, but as with any wedding, it is not only about you, it is also about our guests.”  Where possible select locations that are easy for everyone to reach.  A well traveled spot for example is a good choice.  Plan the wedding well in advance so that potential guests can make arrangements to attend.  Provide travel information and group rates where possible.

• Try to stay in charge of the guest list.  Once the wedding budget is established, you’ll have a good sense of how many guests can comfortably be invited.  If your budget is a six-figure event, relax and let parents invite whomever they feel they must.  But if your budget is more real than imaginary, the list will probably need trimming.  Start early and ask both sets of parents for their preferred guest list in order of preference.  That way you can cut from the bottom if necessary.  Try negotiating the outcomes.  It is a great skill to learn.

• Don’t forget your fiance’.  Yes you are planning a gorgeous wedding – but remember that you are getting married to that guy.  Involve him in the planning process.  There must be an area of special interest to him that he’d like to organize.  Honeymoon plans, transportation, music – ask him what he’d like to do.  You do have a life outside of this wedding, so talk about it, make plans for your future together and remember why you said yes in the first place.  It is not all about crab cakes and ranunculus.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Wedding Don’ts

Yes the wedding will be exciting.  Of course it is the biggest party you’ll ever plan.  Yes the “rules” have relaxed and you want your wedding to be uniquely yours.  You can have it and be happy doing it if you managed to sidestep some of the no-nos that wedding planners advise their brides to avoid.

• Superbride is only in comic books.  You are only one person and accept that you absolutely can’t/shouldn’t try to do it all yourself and still be sane on your wedding day.  Obviously you will make most of the major decisions, but don’t get caught up in all the minute details that demand your attention every waking hour.  Don’t brush away offers to help.  People really do want to help so accept their offers.  Make a sound decision and hire a wedding planner to take care of that legion of details.

• Don’t have a cash bar.  You have invited people to this party.  Don’t ask them to shell out cash for some of their refreshments.  You wouldn’t ask them to pay for their dinners or for a piece of cake.  There are plenty of ways to watch bar expenditures.  If you want a bar, you don’t need to have only top shelf brands.  You can create a signature cocktail and offer only beer and/or wine to guests who prefer something else.  You can have an open bar for an hour only as the guests arrive and then serve wine at dinner.  Provide a table of non alcoholic drinks and punch.  Ask a friend or relative to help guests with their beverage of choice. Ask your wedding planner to help with other money saving ideas.

• Do not include gift registry information on your invitations.  Registering for gifts is a good idea.  It helps guests to make selections they know you will like.  However, giving wedding gifts is never mandatory even if the overwhelming majority of guests will give a gift.  The best way to get out registry news is by word of mouth (your mom and bridesmaids) or on your wedding Internet site.

Be a friend to your bridesmaids and not their boss.  Their official function is to witness the solemn event at which you take your marriage vows.  They are there to stand up for you.  Try not to take the “maid” portion of their title literally.  Yes they are willing to help but watch the demands you make on their time and pocketbooks.  Let them know how much you appreciate their willingness to be a part of your big day.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Paper Notes

Experienced wedding planners have shared some thoughts on assembling the guest list and selecting invitations that reflect the theme and focus of your wedding day. 

•  They remind brides that a formal wedding should be reflected in a traditional formal invitation.  Ten to twelve lines of copy using traditional format and wording is still considered correct.  This copy is formally correct, uses full names for all persons listed and follows the formal layout.  An invitation expert can help with any unusual wording situations.

• When guest lists are being assembled, be aware of the number of single guests on the list who have significant others (known in the invitation field as “plus ones”).  It is not considered mandatory to invite the significant other of a close friend, however if there are only a few invited guests to whom this applies, you may wish to consider including those individuals.  If there are a number of single guests being invited, you’ll need to see what doubling that number will do to your budget.

• Consider creating a wedding website and posting it   4- 6 months prior to the wedding.  This is done for the convenience of your guests.  It does not take the place of the invitations but does provide a way to distribute directions, a list of restaurants, hotels and places of interest for out of town guests, and other wedding related information for all guests.  It is also a place to list gift registries and receive some guest RSVPs to the ceremony and/or reception.

• RSVP cards are still in use by most brides.  Assuming you have the time (invitations went out at least 6 weeks prior to the event) it is a good idea to ask for RSVP cards to be returned to you 3 weeks before the event.  This gives you a closer count for the caterer plus gives you time to seek out stragglers and include them in the final count.  You probably can manage it with only a two-week window prior to the event, but three is better.

WEDDING NOTES™ - What Not to Expect from a Wedding Planner

We have heard lots of brides say with great relief, “I have a wedding planner.  He/she is handling everything for me.”  In fact, wedding planners can handle just about every aspect of your wedding, but there are areas that experts say belong exclusively to the bride and groom.  Your planner can make recommendations in some areas, but the final choices are up to the couple.

• You need to assign seats.  As one planner said, “It takes longer to explain the family dynamics to me than it does to just make the seat assignments herself. I can get the seating cards printed and make sure place cards are in the correct places, but the plan has to come from the bride and her mother.”

• You need to set your wedding budget.  The wedding planners can give you ideas and suggestions about how to allocate the total but they can’t determine the amount you have to spend. 

• You need to select the members of your bridal party.  No one else can do this for you – nor should they.

• You need to write your own vows if that is what you and the groom have decided to do.  You can use the standard vows offered by your church or officiant, but if you want to have your own, write them yourself.  And then edit your drafts as often as you need to until you are saying what is in your heart.

• Select your own music for the ceremony.  Wedding Planners have lists of music that others have chosen, but it is your wedding and you should have music that is meaningful to you.  This choice assumes that you have spoken with the officiant and understand the church’s view of music to be played.

• No one else can write your thank you notes.  Your guests came to your wedding and gave you a gift.  The least you can do is show your appreciation by thanking them.  You and the groom may decide to split the notes and each write half, but the couple must do it.

Wedding planners and coordinators can be a big help in not only assisting you with your wedding plan, but also doing the work necessary to execute your plan.