WEDDING NOTES™ - Tips from a Planner

We know that it takes a happy combination of events and planning to produce a “perfect” wedding.  Here are a few tips from the professional planners at Weddings Beautiful Worldwide.

• If you are concerned about a guest list that has gotten out of hand and is too long for your taste or budget, assemble an unedited list of names (potential guests) and ask everyone involved to rank the names from most to least important. Count up the “most important” names and see what the list looks like.  If it is close to budget, thank everyone and settle the list.  If the numbers are still off, then ask people to cut a designated percentage from their lists.  Take stock of the new total and see  if the process needs to be repeated.

• Don’t even consider sending invitations to an “A” list of guests, only to invite someone from a “B” list when someone from the first list declines.  That is so “Kardashian”!

• To determine the size of the site you’ll need for your reception, be sure to investigate the parking facilities and the rest rooms as well as the size of the reception room(s).  The rule of thumb for toilets is that there should be at least one for every 25 guests.  The parking lot should accommodate one parking space for every two guests.

• Always have at least one attendant assigned to your gift table at the reception even if you are not planning to open and display the gifts there.  BY THE WAY, that is the best and preferred way.  Money gifts should be kept in special receptacles and secured.  Many weddings hire special security for the reception to keep an eye on gifts and to assist in their proper transport after the celebration is over.

• If parents and stepparents are contributing money for your reception, it is much better to pool the money in advance.  Then no contributor will demand to take control of how the money is spent.  If someone feels strongly about “sponsoring” a particular wedding expense, it is far better to know that up front and working with that person to accommodate preferences.

For more helpful advice, call or email us as we have answers to the most perplexing situations.

WEDDING NOTES™ - The Bride’s Mother

The mother of the bride has a very special place in the wedding planning process.  This special role is there whether or not she chooses to accept it.  For some, it is truly a “Mission Impossible”.  For others it is the role of a lifetime.  But what is important is that she is included.  

With families frequently separated by miles, jobs, schools or military service, the parental roles have changed but what has not changed is the importance of including mom in the planning process wherever possible.  Occasionally we meet mothers who feel left out of the plans.

What can you do?  It’s great to involve the groom in the plans but don’t forget mom.   She can make wonderful suggestions – so ask her opinion and advice.  Chances are excellent that she has had more experience in dealing with things like receptions, parties, caterers and florists than has the bride.

Most bridal fashion stores would counsel a bride to bring only one person with her to select her gown.  That person could/should be mom.  Today’s tendency to bring the entire wedding party and solicit each of their opinions on THE GOWN generally is not a productive event.  Who knows you and your tastes and dreams better than MOM?

She is also a good person to have along when you choose wedding accessories and gifts for your attendants.  After all, she has known you for a long time.

She is the perfect person to take charge of the master guest list.  She can eliminate duplicates, help make decisions on the final list and gather the addresses.

Seek advice on, or let her plan the seating arrangements for the reception.  She’ll be the one who knows who should sit with whom and who shouldn’t be at the same table.

Among all your friends, she’ll be the best at helping you put things in perspective when you feel overwhelmed by it all.  That’s what mom’s do!

WEDDING NOTES™ – Spreading the Good News

We encourage our brides to talk about their weddings with our consultants so that we can truly help brides with their paper trousseau needs.  Whether the bride chooses modern and streamlined or classic, there is a wide array of graphics and paper types to accommodate all tastes.  It is important to remember that the invitations you choose set the tone for the wedding celebration to follow so take the time to select/create the look you want.  It represents your guests’ first look at the excitement to come.

• If a bride is inviting many out-of-town guests or if the wedding is being celebrated over a holiday weekend, we think that save- the- date cards are important.  Ideally, they are sent out as early as 5 months prior to the event.  However, we always caution our brides to be absolutely sure of basic plans and dates and probable guest list before sending out the cards.  If the guest list ultimately grows beyond initial plans, it will be awkward to “uninvited” guests to whom you have sent save- the- date cards.  We advise sending them only to those family members and friends without whom you can’t see yourself being married.  They are “must attend/invite” guests.

• Remember that invitations offer guests a sneak preview of the tone and formality of the wedding, much thought should be given to the selection.  Formal wording should be used for a formal church wedding.  More informal prose can be used for more casual weddings or for ceremonies and reception set in unique venues.  Individuality can be expressed by choosing unique sizes, textures, colors, overlays and ribbons.

• While announcements are nice to send to those friends who live far away, invitations are a bit more personal and give the recipient a chance to attend or not.  To facilitate this, a reply card with a self-stamped, preaddressed envelope should be enclosed.

• Optional enclosures can be added.  Some may be dinner preference cards, or if it is a weekend affair, guest s may be given the option to choose activities they would like to attend.

• Plan to mail your invitations 10-12 weeks before the event – especially to guests who live far away.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Your Ceremony

He asked you to marry him and you said yes!  Congratulations!  If you know that you will be married in a church ceremony, as soon as you have shared the good news with close family members, it is time to think about when and where you will be married.

Once you have determined when, lock in the ceremony site and the reception venue.  Then other plans can fall into place.  As soon as possible, meet with the officiant and/or his/her representative to determine the “rules” guiding ceremonies in that church or synagogue.  With that information in hand, you can begin to formulate your own personal touches with the goal of creating a beautiful setting that helps to establish the mood for your ceremony to come.

As guests arrive, the setting – candles, lights, flowers and music can create a lovely atmosphere.
Instruct ushers to make friendly small talk with guests as they arrive and as they are escorted to their seats.  This is truly welcoming and helps guests to feel at ease.  If yours is a small wedding, ushers can present a single flower to female guests along with a note from you welcoming them to the wedding.  A welcome flower can also be presented along with the programs.

Consider having ceremony hosts welcome guests at the entrance doors.  Choose one from each family – someone who is likely to recognize the majority of the guests as they arrive.  Your parents may be mingling with guests at this point or may be needed with the wedding party.

If you have music playing as guests arrive and are seated, be sure someone is ready to cue the music to change tempo or volume or both so that special music plays as the parents of the bride and groom are seated.  More and more couples are choosing to have a card or note from them along with a single flower or small wrapped gift waiting in the pew for parents as they are seated.

Consider having the music change again as the groom and his best man take their places.  Then as the processional begins, the music should change again for the bridesmaids and flower girls.

The bride should make an entrance cued by more dramatic “announcement” music.  If the church or facility can manage it, consider dimming the house lights and turn on pre placed lighting aimed at the aisle just before the bride begins her walk to the altar.

Above all remember that the ceremony is the cornerstone of the day and the reason the guests have gathered.  The reception celebrates what has happened in that church.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Centerpiece Choices

Seen at current weddings – a wide variety of centerpiece options which complement the theme of the wedding and/or reflect the couple’s search for “something unique”!

For fans of traditional floral arrangements, there is the assurance that given the right color combo and size, guests will feel right at home with the idea of flowers on the table that complete the look of elegant special occasions.  Flowers work beautifully as long as the arrangements are either low enough (under 12-14 inches) or high enough (at least 30 inches) so that guests can converse across the table – or at least see each other.  Formal arrangements in glass or silver containers send one message, while daisies or sunflowers in canning jars send another.

With the changing view of wedding cakes, many brides are opting to make desert the centerpiece of guest tables.  Cupcake trees, lollipop cakes, cookie and dessert bar assortments and miniature versions of the bridal cake make perfect centerpiece options.

Guest favors artfully arranged on clear plastic or glass trays work well when accompanied by thank you notes from the bride and groom.

Candles of varying height and shape arranged on mirrors make a wonderful centerpiece for each table and their accumulated impact is wonderful.  However, be sure to check the reception hall’s heating/cooling system.  If a lot of air is going to be blowing over the tables, your candles won’t last long.  If your reception is in a tented area, think about LED tapers that look almost real.

Some brides have made the wine being served with dinner an integral part of the centerpiece.  With some greenery and/or wrapped cheese miniatures the different bottles make an intriguing focal point.

Collect a variety of glass serving pieces and fill them with beverages (or water) the theme color of the wedding.

Photos of the bride and groom as children framed and grouped in the center of the table, work well as centerpieces and conversation starters.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Bridezillas Are Wrong

We all realize that the bride and groom are the focal points of this very special day.  The wedding and its celebration are milestones in individual lives and family memories.  It is a significant social and personal event that deserves the attention given it.

But what many of us have learned is that the weddings that are most remembered are those which consider the family and friends who will be joining the couple in celebrating the event.
Here are some ways brides and grooms can focus on guests and family.

• Remember to treat attendants like the friends they are – not servants.  They are expending time and treasure to celebrate with you.  Certainly they are there to support your wishes, but not to grant your every whim.  Consideration and gratitude are welcome gifts to wedding party participants.
• When you are developing your gift registries, remember to include items for all price ranges.  Friends and family members want to give you as nice a gift as they can.  Spend some time making thoughtful choices.
• Select reception food that most guests will enjoy.  If you are planning an ethnic specialty, be sure to include an alternative.  Not every guest will welcome unfamiliar food.
• If music is to be played during cocktails and/or dinner, make sure it is background music soft enough so that people can hear themselves and others talk.
• If you are having a wedding dance, make sure that the band plays some “golden oldies” so that parents and/or grandparents and their friends can dance too.
• Don’t micro manage everything.  Once plans are in place let vendors you’ve hired do what you hired them to do.
• For everyone’s sake, try to limit the time delay between the end of the ceremony and the start of the reception to one hour or less.  If it must be longer, arrange something for the guests to do while they are awaiting your arrival.  No one wants to go home and come back again.

Remember that this is one of the biggest parties you and your family will ever give.  Make it memorable for your guests.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Alternate Sites

When a bride asks about ideas for a non-traditional wedding site, before we offer suggestions, we ask how flexible she is.  Planning a wedding at an outdoor site requires arranging two sites.  One is the prime location and the other is the alternate.  The weather has been known to ruin many original plans.  Don’t let that discourage you from having the wedding you want, but do have backup plans in place.

An outdoor site can be a perfect spot for those of different religious faiths.  It is a perfect choice for couples who love the outdoors or have families with extensive gardens or grounds.   Often outdoor sites are less expensive than closed venues.

The intimate setting of a chapel, beach, park or backyard offers the freedom to add personal touches to the ceremony.  The location choice will set the theme for your wedding celebration and once selected make many subsequent choices easier.  Canopies, tents and gazebos may be rented and needed.

Once you have secured plan A and plan b, other plans and decisions will flow more easily. Decorations, food, refreshments, entertainment and guest list will all be governed by the location decisions you have made. It is good to have another viewpoint and advice on the unusual celebration you have in mind.