When selecting items for one's paper trousseau, very few
brides neglect to order reply cards and envelopes. These have become "essentials" when
attempting to calculate the number of guests to expect at the reception.
However, having sent them out with the invitation package,
know that there will always be a number of guests who never bother to
reply. Your choice is to go with some
industry average that calculates that up to 10% of invited guests won't attend
and won't let you know they aren't coming so you can plan accordingly or you
may wish to contact those "silent" guests directly and ask if they
are planning to attend.
Some brides elect to make the calls themselves, others
involve their mothers in the contacts or the groom's mother as well. As Martha
Stewart says, "Once the R.S.V.P. deadline printed on the reply card is come
and gone, you are well within bounds to start reaching out to tardy
invitees."
When you do call, keep the message short and sweet. Martha suggests these words: "I wanted to be sure you got our wedding
invitation. I need to get the final
numbers to my caterer this week, and we'd love to know whether we'll be seeing
you there."
We know that some brides-to-be are considering a
"B-list" of invited guests. We
don't condone that practice but know that it happens. Some advice:
If you are planning to use this approach, we offer these considerations: Most people will figure out they are
"second-tier" guests when the invitation comes to them two weeks
before the wedding date. If you are
determined to use a second round of invitations, at least be strategic about it
and up the dates when your invitations go out.
Send your first round of invitations out up to 10 weeks in advance and
set the R.S.V.P. to at least 5 weeks before the wedding date. Once regrets start coming in, you can still
get a few invitations out to names on the B-List if you are determined to do
so.
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