WEDDING NOTES™ - Developing THE PLAN

No matter how long your engagement may be, there are several key decisions that you must make early on in the planning process.

The list is in a suggested order but you and your family will need to decide which gets done first and why.

• Work out your budget.  Determine how much you have to spend and the source(s) for the funds.

• Decide on the type of wedding you want.

• Book your dates and venues for the ceremony and reception.  If they are to be in separate places try to minimize the travel time between them.

• Determine the officiant for the ceremony and book him/her.

• Research, decide on and book photographers, entertainment and caterer if needed.

• Find your dream dress.

• Think about the size of your wedding party and select members.

• If you will have out of town guests, book a block of rooms.  We suggest selecting two or three sites with varying price options from which guests can choose.

• Register for gifts.  Sign up at a minimum of 3 retail locations – again try for a range of price points.

• Consider hiring a wedding planner or coordinator to save you time and money.

There are many more decisions to make but taking care of these first will give you a structure to follow for other details.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Put First Things First

You may have been planning your wedding on paper or in your head for years before you ever got engaged. Or you may have had a whirlwind courtship and an even shorter engagement period.  Either way you can plan and pull off a great wedding if you take the time to PLAN.  

According to REAL SIMPLE magazine “The average American couple is engaged for 15 months”.  But your engagement may be a lot shorter than that.  Either way, you can manage it if you realize that planning takes place in two big time blocks:  the selecting and booking at the beginning and the coordinating of details at the end.  Those with longer engagements book the best vendors early thus ensuring their first choice of dates, times and places.  Those with shorter engagements find themselves booking and coordinating in compressed time frames.  

If yours is a shorter period of time, experts recommend that you focus your efforts on “the four components that guests are likely to notice – dress, food, décor and entertainment.  You may pick another four but categorizing elements of the event make it easier to handle and to make sure that what is important to you and your fiancé takes center stage.

Take time to figure out how elaborate a wedding you want and/or can afford.  Watching celebrities marry can give a bride an unrealistic look at the elements of a wedding.  This is your wedding – not a famous star’s.  Trying to do too much with limited resources can be a disaster.  Be realistic about the time you have to plan and the dollars available to support those plans.  

You and your fiancé should look at what is important to both of you.  Make a list and rank those items from most important to nice but not necessary.  Then start cutting from the bottom of the list until you are left with those items that are critical to you both.  Now that’s a plan you can manage.

WEDDING NOTES™ - The Bride’s Father

It may not seem like it to him, but the bride does worry about her dad and how he is feeling as the entire family gets involved in wedding planning.  He may feel left out or uncomfortable or just plain bewildered by all of the “hoopla” going on about him.  Our consultants often counsel brides who ask about the father’s role.

While many may see him as the walking, breathing checkbook for this event, his role is really more key.  His most important job is to be supportive of the bride’s decisions in most areas.  Certainly family discussions will take place, but once a decision is made, Dad’s support is invaluable.  He may think he is losing his little girl, but she still needs his support.

His official duties as father of the bride include riding to the ceremony with the bride (where appropriate).  He escorts the bride down the aisle on his right arm, and then joins his wife in the front pew (unless other arrangements take precedence).

As the official host of the reception, he mingles with the guests.  He may or may not stand in the receiving line.  That is really his call.  Some dads like it and others do not.

He generally keeps an eye on the bar and champagne supply and makes a short toast at the reception.

Traditionally, he has a short dance with the bride after she dances first with the groom.

Finally, he is the last person to leave the reception and says goodbye to the guests.

He may still pay the majority of the wedding costs and sign the bill for the reception, but in today’s weddings, many costs are shared.

His presence provides a sense of continuity to the event and his love and support for his daughter is a comfort to all.