WEDDING NOTES™ - Who is Walking You Down the Aisle?

While tradition says that the bride is escorted down the aisle by her father who then "gives" her in marriage to the groom, today's brides have many options.

And while the bride's escort is not considered an attendant, this person is a very important part of the ceremony and clearly a part of the bride's life.  The person chosen could be a father, a step father, a brother, an uncle or even a mother, aunt, sister, cousin or friend.  Whatever role that person plays in the bride's life, this function in her wedding is very important and walking with the bride down the aisle on the way to her new life deserves remembrance.

Many jewelers are creating a special lapel pin or brooch for presentation to that special someone.  It shouldn't be elaborate or showy, but it should be tastefully done perhaps with a monogram and date or with a symbol of the wedding - bells, doves, a flower or the bride's initials - there a many options.  The purpose is to say thank you and give that person a keepsake that speaks to the importance of what that person has meant in the bride's life.  It can be given at the rehearsal dinner if attendant gifts are being given then, or saved for a few moments before the processional begins.  As they are lining up, the bride pins this memento to her escorts lapel or gown with a special hug and heartfelt thank you.

WEDDING NOTES™ - What About Attendant Gifts?

What is traditional?  Jewelry the female attendants will wear in the wedding and engraved money clips for the groomsmen are the usual fare.  But what about bridesmaids who have chosen different style gowns in the fabric and color the bride has chosen?  While one strapless version can handle the necklace, maybe the jewel necked version can't.  Brides may choose to give the wedding jewelry as a gift to their attendants because they want the symmetry of everyone the same, but brides may give more thought to a gift that is more personal and says thank you for being in my wedding and an important part of my life.

We are seeing more brides - and grooms too - putting real thought into their attendant gifts.  And we are seeing more individual gifts that reflect that person's tastes and preferences rather than a one size fits all gift.  Granted, giving individualized gifts takes more time and thought, but can reflect a deeper appreciation for that person's role in your life and your wedding.

A cookbook or monogrammed measuring cup for someone who likes to cook, a novel by a favorite author for a passionate reader, two tickets to a movie theater with a gift card for dinner or drinks at a favorite hangout, a clutch handbag for the" fashionista", electronic gear for the gizmo fanatic or a special bottle of wine for the aficionado are all options to consider.

Wedding party gifts don't have to be "wedding" focused, nor is there such a thing as a "standard" gift that is expected.  These are treasures you have found to say thank you to people who matter to you.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Ringing News

For many if not most brides, a diamond engagement ring with matching wedding band is the ultimate.  But with all of the options available to today's bride, more and more creativity is being seen.

Many jewelers are able and willing to create one-of-a-kind designs for their bridal customers who want their matching bands to be uniquely theirs.

 Some jewelers are creating specialty rings that combine birthstones and diamonds and others are specialists in creating new designs from heirloom or vintage pieces.  For some modern brides their "something old" may well be the diamonds or other precious stones that have come down from family members.  Combining stones from both mothers' wedding bands for the new bride is a powerful symbol of family unity.

Some couples are looking at ceramic rings.  Many modern jewelry designers have created stunning designs in ceramic that are shatter and scratch resistant, lightweight and functional. 

Of course, there is a vast market for the traditional simple band of silver, gold or platinum chosen to offset the drama of a gorgeous diamond engagement ring.

Whatever the couple chooses, there has never been a wider selection or more creative options available.

WEDDING NOTES™ - How Many Attendants Should I have?

Like many aspects of wedding planning, there were once rather rigid guidelines that ruled the how and the who of weddings.  Some experts used a formula that said there should be a bridesmaid and usher for every 45-50 guests.  Fortunately, that has long been abandoned.

Bridesmaid numbers depend on who is close to the bride and who she wants to stand up for her.  Likewise the groom is freer to select who and how many of his friends to include.  But when selecting attendants, remember an important guideline - how many can you afford to have?  Every attendant is entitled to bring a guest so realize that every one you have means two for the reception per plate charge.

Once you've decided on a number, the bride and the groom should prepare a priority list of attendants.

You'll need to consider each other's families in creating the selection list.  A bride may wish to include the top tier of her sorority sisters leaving no room for the groom's sisters or the groom may wish to have a group of fraternity brothers plus his own brothers.  Once a number of attendants is agreed upon, something has to give.

What happens if the bride has eight friends she can't live without in her wedding party, but the groom - an only child has only 4 close buds?  If your budget can handle the expense, there are always ways to handle an unbalanced wedding party.  For the processional, one groomsman can escort two bridesmaids - one on each arm.  Or if symmetry is important, forget about male/female and just go by the numbers.  You have 12 attendants total and there will be 6 on each side of the bride and groom - 2 guys and 4 girls on each side.  This works especially well in wedding photos.  The result is balanced with color and diversity on each side of the bridal couple. 

It is your wedding day and common sense and good manners should take precedence over the "rules".

WEDDING NOTES™ - A New Twist on Business Cards

If you work the chances are excellent that you have access to the company’s business cards or have cards bearing your name and title.  We are starting to see business cards bearing the names of the bride and/or groom who are in the business of getting married.  As one consultant put it, "Depending on the budget, the bride may actually be a fairly big business."  Cards are easily self printed on one's computer or can be done economically at many print shops.

Here is an example of useful copy:

Bride:  Mary Jane Doe      Groom:  John Michael Smith

Wedding Date:  June 15, 2015

E-mail special promotion or individual offers to:  maryjohn@mysite.com

Fax to: 999-999-9999   or Mail to:  12345 MyStreet North, My City, Stateand Zip

Including your phone number - home or cell - is your call.   Some brides are already inundated by phone calls and don't want or need more. 

Including the statement about "special promotions" gives vendors a clue that you are interested and ready to shop.

You may want to include a photo of yourselves.  The question most brides ask is whether to use their wedding site or to create a new temporary site just for receiving bids, information and for maintaining the wedding budget.  That is your call.

Once printed, stock your purse or brief case with cards and hand them out freely to vendors throughout the wedding planning process.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Flowers for the Ladies

Brides can get so focused on her flowers and decorative arrangements for the church and reception venue that she can give little thought to the flowers for others in the wedding.  One rule of thumb that is helpful to the bride as she orders corsages for other family members.  That rule is "If the word 'mother' is in the description, the lady gets a corsage.  And that means both the bride's and the groom's sides.   That includes mothers, grandmothers, great grandmothers, god mothers, stepmothers, and foster mothers.  They are all honored guests at the wedding and each should receive a wedding day corsage or wristlet.

The flowers don't have to be elaborate but should be suitable.  They don't have to be identical.  You may wish to have something special for the mothers, a different flower and/or color for grandmothers etc.  Choose soft, neutral colors that tend to go with everything.  

It is far better to choose less expensive corsages for everyone than to choose expensive flowers for a few and leave others out completely.  The flowers you present to them should convey love and respect for the influential women in your lives.  Be sure to include the names of these women in your flower order.  Then include one or two extras just to insure that everyone who matters to you is covered.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Consider the Music

Your wedding day should ring with the music you like best!  Think about the memorable opportunities presented by events at your wedding.  Think about how you will remember them because of the music that was playing when they happened.  Most wedding days go by in a flash and too many couples say they can't believe it's over.  Picking the right music for the right event will help to focus attention on it and make it a fond memory for you.

Ceremony music is generally traditional if not dictated by the rules of the church where it's being held.  You'll have soft music playing prior to the processional, then the processional with music for the wedding party and something special for the bride's entrance.  Musical selections during the ceremony are usually done as part of the ritual or because a piece of music is special to the couple.  The recessional is joyful and celebratory.

Music for your reception is less restrictive.  You get to choose the theme, the tone, the tunes and the action.  It is your personal choice (as a couple).  Whether you prefer the classics, or country or big band or Broadway show tunes or rock and roll, this is your night.  The best part of this is choosing the music that matters to you for the key events at your reception.  Choose your favorite songs for the following:

• ·         your grand entrance
• ·         your first dance as a couple
• ·         the father-daughter dance
• ·         the mother-son dance
• ·         the cake-cutting ceremony
• ·         the bouquet toss
• ·         the garter toss
• ·         your last dance
• ·         any unique dance like a money dance, a feature dance with the winners of the bouquet and garter toss

Be sure you provide a play list for the musicians or DJ working your wedding.  Make sure that they have a script of what to play when and entrust that list to a close friend or the master of ceremonies at your wedding.  It's fine to think of your guests and their music choices.  Select some pieces that will insure that everyone who wants to gets a chance to dance.  But you will remember your reception with joy if events were held while music you love played.