WEDDING NOTES™ – Reaffirming Wedding Vows

Reaffirming wedding vows has become an increasingly popular way to celebrate a significant anniversary or to have the formal event that a civil ceremony did not provide.

Couples may choose to repeat their original vows or they may wish to write new ones that express the way their love has grown over the years.  

Generally invitations are not sent unless the ceremony planned is large and elaborate.

The ceremony options are varied.  Some couples choose to hold the ceremony and reception in their home or they may arrange for a church with a reception to follow in a restaurant.  Ceremony details are worked out with the officiant.  If it is to be part of a regular religious service, the church will dictate the procedure.  If it is to be a separate ceremony with a large guest list, much of the procedure is likely to be similar to a second wedding.

Some reaffirmations are limited to family only and others include a wide circle of friends they have acquired over the years.  Either way, it is a nice touch to include children and even grandchildren in the ceremony.  With family members participating, it reaffirms the love of not just the parents but the entire family they have created.

Generally, the attire chosen is dressy but not as formal as that for a wedding.  The bride may choose to carry a modest bouquet or wear a corsage.  For those couples who choose to reaffirm vows in an exotic location, a call to the resort or hotel where they plan to stay is in order.  A resident consultant can help implement plans and suggest new ideas.

Some families choose this occasion to have a formal family photograph taken.  Others are happy with just informal photos taken by friends.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Hints from Planners

The professional wedding planners exchange ideas and are an excellent resource to tap.  Here are some of their key pieces of advice.

From: Stephanie Johnson, ParkPlacePlanning.com

• ·         Establishing the budget and guest list can be two of the most difficult parts of planning, but the sooner you get those tasks handled the better.  Booking venues and vendors before you have your budget and guest count settled is just asking for unnecessary stress.

• ·         What makes details truly over-the-top is doing something just a little unique or unexpected.  I had one of my couples surprise guests with a gospel choir at the end of their ceremony.  Another couple set up a make-your-own champagne cocktail bar.  The secret to including these kinds of wow-worthy experiences without blowing your budget is to pick just a single aspect and go all out with it.

• ·         Set realistic DIY goals.  Pick one or two significant details that are relatively simple to execute, and plan a crafts day with friends or bridesmaids. 

From:  Sarah Trotter, LastingImpressionsWeddings.com

• ·         Keep your vendors close.  There are always elements you have no control over on your wedding day.  That’s why you need great vendors.  Make sure you establish good communications with them early in the process.  You want to make sure that you find people with whom you “click” and who are willing to help make your vision come together.

• ·         You can really customize your wedding when it comes to food.  Just recently one of my couples set up a whole room filled with State Fair food like donuts, corn dogs and cotton candy.  As much as I love planning over-the-top luxe weddings, it’s really the food that is going to get people buzzing about the night.

• ·         A lot of my brides get really stressed about whether they’re supposed to be doing one thing or another.  Don’t get so caught up in the “rules”.  Instead, make sure you don’t have any regrets and that you’ve done everything the way you want a couple.  Enjoy the process of planning and don’t worry so much about what you think you have to do.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Portraits and Pictures

The Fall/Winter 2012 issue of the knot.com did a good job of suggesting new ideas for photo ops at your wedding.  We’ve included some of their ideas as well as suggestions from wedding planners.  Wedding photos are THE lasting memory of your special day.  Making sure that the photographer captures the essence and spirit of the day is so important.  You may wish to review some of these ideas with him/her prior to the wedding.

• ·         Though you may not like standing for posed portraits at your wedding, don’t make the mistake of skipping them.  This is a special day that will only happen once.  Everyone is together looking their best.  Even if you think you don’t want them, “you’ll be glad to have them after the wedding is over.  You can pare down to “five must-take portraits:  the bride and groom together, the entire wedding party, the bride and groom with their parents, the couple with the bride’s immediate family and the couple with the groom’s immediate family.” (theknot.com)

• ·         Consider photos of the groom and his groomsmen getting ready.  The focus of the pre-wedding pix does not have to be on every hairbrush and roller in the bride’s room.

• ·         If you don’t mind having the groom see you before you walk down the aisle, consider “staging” a “first look” photo on a stair case, in a garden or courtyard.  The point is to capture his reaction to the first time he sees you in your gown.  This can be a special shot especially if you won’t have time between the ceremony and reception for many formal pictures.

• ·         Consider having the photographer capture the look on the faces of family members as they see you walk down the aisle.  You may not even have noticed those reactions in the rush of the moment but will enjoy them later.

• ·         Ask the photographer to seek out an unusual vantage point for shooting photos of the ceremony.  Request the same for the reception.  A wide angle shot of the reception area filled with guests will be a wonderful reminder of the entire day.

• ·         Think of your wedding as a “time capsule capturing the context in which your wedding takes place” (theknot.com).  In fifty years, your grandchildren will enjoy looking at the photos.

While wonderful wacky informal shots from your reception may be recorded on the disposable cameras you have left at every table, you will want pictures from a professional photographer who knows how important they are as a record of your incredible day.  Hire the best you can afford.  They are worth it!

WEDDING NOTES™ – Guests and Gift Registries

Since the average bride and groom register for gifts as early as six months before the wedding, savvy guests who know they will be attending spring and summer weddings can take advantage of being early visitors to the gift registries.

Know that small appliances, cookware and linens tend to go on sale in early spring.  Being alert to those sales can give guests a good chance to get the couple a special gift at a special price.

According to The Knot.com, the three top stores couples choose for their registries are Target, Macy’s and Bed Bath &Beyond.  It makes sense to start collecting coupons from those stores and “like” them on Facebook for access to additional money saving coupons. 

Since many couples suspect/expect a group gift when they put a big ticket item on their registry, paying attention to registry lists early enables a family group to provide that item to the bride and groom by “teaming up”.

Couples with special interests in key product areas like outdoor activities, camping, fishing, running or entertainment, gain ground when they register early in the process.

Couples are urged to insure that they offer a variety of items in their gift registry selections for their guests.  Items in several price ranges are encouraged.

We also remind our brides that it is inappropriate and unacceptable to mention gift registry locations/choices in the invitation.  News about where a couple is registered should be shared via word of mouth (attendants, relatives and friends can share the news) or can be listed in the wedding website if one has been established.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Wedding Bouquet Styles

As you consider the style of flowers you want for your bridal bouquet, there are several factors to consider.  You will want to settle on a color, fragrance, whether or not the flowers will last or hold up and the shape or style of the arrangement.

The price of the bouquet is usually set by the amount of labor required to create it, the size of the bouquet and certainly by the type of flowers chosen.  In season local blossoms will be far more reasonable than blooms that must be shipped in.

There are several basic bouquet styles from which to choose.  Your florist can help you select the one that fits your gown, the degree of formality of the wedding and is appropriate for your body type.  These are the basic shapes.

• ·        Exposed Stems – also called a hand-tied arrangement.  Currently popular, this is a tightly packed cluster of flowers gathered to form a round bouquet in which the stems are ribbon wrapped.  If this arrangement is fitted into a bouquet holder is it also known as a nosegay.  It works well for more informal weddings.

• ·        Arm Bouquet – Also known as a Ms. America, it is a traditional wedding bouquet in which long stemmed flowers like roses, calla lilies or gladiolus are loosely ribbon tied and worn resting the crook of one arm.

• ·        Cascade –is a waterfall of flowers and greenery gathered into a handle.  Any type of flower can be used.  It is an elegant look that is best worn with a formal wedding gown.  A tall or medium-tall bride can carry this look off nicely.  The labor involved in assembling a cascade can make it higher priced than other choices.

• ·        Crescent – is a half moon shaped formal arrangement in which flowers are wired into shape.  It is a popular selection for orchids and flat, glossy greens.

• ·        Posy – is a smaller version of a nosegay.  These are usually quite inexpensive because they don’t require as many flowers.  They are perfect for a smaller bride.

If you don’t want to carry flowers and would prefer something special and unique.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Your Invitation Choices

The type of printing you choose will influence the price of the invitations you choose as much as the type of paper you choose.  Whether you print your own or have them done by a master printer, be sure to select a printing process that works on the type of paper you choose.

These are the most commonly used printing processes.

• ·        Engraving – This is the oldest form of printing in which paper is positioned between an etched copper plate and an inked plate.  The etched plate forces the paper onto the inked plate, creating raised lettering on the front of the paper and “dimples” on the back.  Engraving is expensive because the copper plate has to be custom-etched and can only be used once.  The printer sends back the etched plate for you to keep.  This is an expensive form of printing for invitations. However, it  is frequently used for large formal weddings.  There are a number of print styles available for engraved invitations.  However, the most popular are script or a clear block style.

• ·        Thermography – This is the term that describes a type of printing that combines ink, resin and heat to create a raised lettering that looks like engraving only at a lower price tag.  It is the most popular print type used in most weddings today.  It looks like engraving on the surface plus it enables you to select different ink colors.  Engraving is done only with black ink for the best result.

• ·        Offset printing (lithography) –is done with an inked plate or roller which transfers the text to the paper, creating a flat (not raised) printed image.  It works well with either smooth or textured paper and is a popular/inexpensive option.

• ·        Digital printing – This is the relative “newcomer”.  Made possible by computers, it often has more precise resolution and color matching.  It is the most economical option.  It works best on smooth surface paper or lightly textured paper.

The print style you choose will reflect the degree of formality of your wedding and your unique personal choices.

WEDDING NOTES™ – iPhones at your Wedding

The proliferation of camera phones has raised a new point of discussion for brides and grooms hoping to capture the essence of their wedding through a professional photographer of some distinction.  How to handle wedding guests with cameras in their phones and preserve the privacy and security of the wedding events is a growing challenge.  Social media are changing the rules around the ceremony that was originally about the bride and groom.  As Kim Ode of the STAR TRIBUNE said “On a day planned down to the mints, social media allow for random acts of mindlessness.”

While some couples may embrace the technology, others wonder “how to keep their vows from going viral”.   This concern has prompted wedding planners, coordinators and consultants to formulate some guidelines covering social media at weddings.

• ·        Recognize that most couples make a distinction between the wedding ceremony and its more solemn aspects and the reception with its feel as a celebration.

• ·        If the bride doesn’t want people to see her in her gown before she goes down the aisle, she needs to make sure her attendants understand that uploading photos of her in that special dress before the ceremony is forbidden.

• ·       Consultants suggest putting a notice in the program itself which clearly states that this is an “unplugged” ceremony.  Reinforce this request by asking the officiant to remind the guests to silence their electronics.

• ·        Some brides have posted signs at the entrance to the ceremony asking people to refrain from using electronics.  Placing a sign at the spot where the guest book is placed is another option.

Social media at the reception seems to be more acceptable.  Photo-sharing sites enable guests to down-load reception photos into a designated wedding album which makes it nice for the couple to see lots of the action at their party.  As one consultant said, the electronics made it possible for one couple to livestream their wedding to friends and family who could not make it to the wedding.