WEDDING NOTES™ - The Label in Your Wedding Gown

In an effort to make sure that brides get what they pay for when they buy their wedding gown, the Federal Trade Commission has established guidelines that federal law requires on wearing apparel.

Jodie Bernstein, Director of FTC"s Bureau of Consumer Protection has said that the "emergence of discount ordering services - either through toll-free telephone numbers or the Internet - has spurred some retailers to remove disclosure labels from their gowns.  It is not against the law to remove manufacturers' labels and replace them with a store's own labels, but it is illegal to sell or show a gown that doesn’t have the required information at all."  The required information must be on every garment offered for sale, including wedding gowns.

This is what is mandated:

• *The identity of the manufacturer, distributor or retailer, either by name or by registered identification number (RN).

• *The garment's fiber content.

• *Federal law requires that clothes carry a label that identifies the country of origin.

• *All garments must carry permanently affixed care labels telling consumers how to clean and care for them.

Well established bridal salons stand behind the gowns they carry and meet all FTC requirements.  Full service stores stand behind all of the merchandise they carry and display with pride.

For copies of this policy go to the FTC web site at http://www.ftc.gov and request copies of "Wedding Gown Labels:Unveiling the Requirements"

WEDDING NOTES™ - Fit for the Groom

Make sure that the groom and his wedding party are sized and fit for their formal wear by someone who knows the correct look.  Most formal wear experts will tell you that tuxedos fit somewhat differently than the jackets and trousers men wear on a daily basis.

• *Tuxedo pants tend to fit looser than the pants men wear daily.  That fact makes most men think the trousers are too big and they lobby for a smaller size.  But tux pants have a looser fit on purpose.  It keeps the pleats flat and the pockets from bulging open.  They don't fit like everyday jeans!

• *Tuxedo shirts should fit well at the neck - no gaping and no restrictive tightness.  A perfect fit lays comfortably at the neck.  The shirtsleeves should edge just past the wrist and no more than one inch of cuff should show beneath the sleeve of the jacket.

• *Pant legs should rest gently across the top of the shoes.  Too frequently, tux pants are not properly hemmed and either touch the floor in the back or display too much sock.

• *A properly fitted jacket will not show strain at the seams nor will there be pulling across the shoulders.  The jacket will button comfortably without gaping.

• * The cummerbund should fit comfortably at the waistline and should not slip or slide out of place.

• *If there is a vest as part of the package, it should button or close comfortably around the shirt without puckering the shirt of sagging front or back.

Alerting the groom/groomsmen to these fit variations before the wedding party is fitted, will help insure that they look their best on your big day.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Degree of Formality

One of the most important early decisions you can make is how formal you want your wedding to be.  That degree of formality will drive many of your wedding day choices and the information you share with guests.  Here are the traditional explanations of dress for the various levels of formality.

*White tieis the most formal.  For man, that means a black tailcoat with matching full-dress trousers, a white waistcoat, a white shirt with a stiff wing collar worn with a white bow tie, white button-on suspenders and pearl shirt studs.  For women it means a full length gown, fine jewelry, elegant shoes, styled hair and well done make up.  Know that if you choose this level of style for your wedding, most guests will have to incur the expense of renting formalwear.  It should be stated on the invitation.

*Black tie means you expect a formal elegant dress on guests.  Men should wear a black dinner jacket with matching trousers without cuffs, a black cummerbund or waistcoat, a white shirt with a black bow tie.  For women it means an elegant gown - either cocktail or calf length for a daytime wedding or full length for an evening wedding.  If you expect this level of formality, be sure to state it on the invitation.

*Other designations - Semi formal, Cocktail, Informal, Dressy Casual or Casual are the usual other choices and in many areas leave guests unsure at to what it means.

"Semi formal dress means that men may wear dark suits and ties with dress shoes and women may choose either cocktail or full length dresses with tasteful jewelry, evening shoes and handbags.

Cocktail means dress or business suits with ties for men, and a cocktail length dress for women.

Informal means that men may wear a suit or a sport coat, with or without a tie, and women can wear any nice, shorter length dress with appropriate accessories.

Dressy casual is one of those terms that is hard to pin down, but most folks agree that it mean a sport coat with contrasting slacks for men and a nice dress or pantsuit for women.

Casual means a shirt and slacks for men, and a skirt or pants with a blouse or casual dress for women.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Plugged In or Not?

This era of Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and hashtags, some additional social "rules" are being developed.  And it is a wise couple that addresses the issues raised by social media before their wedding so that guests know their preferences in advance.  It should not be stated on the formal wedding invitations.  There is no line for "please unplug".  However, it can be stated on the couple's wedding web page, printed on the programs, by a printed reminder posted at the guest book or even a part of an admonition from the celebrant at the ceremony.

As one wedding planner has said, "It's obviously not going to go away ---it's about managing it."  "There are some large issues like when a friend share's a photo of the bride's dress when they are out shopping that are not appropriate.  You always have the person who overshares."  It is understandable that couples want to be able to control the images that go out there for their wedding.

Here are some hints from experienced wedding planners about how to manage social media etiquette.

• ·         Guests should refrain from taking photos during the ceremony.  That has been a long standing rule and is not unique to this electronic age.  The problem for today is the number of cameras in the room.  At one time there were maybe 3 or 4 in addition to the professional photographer hired to capture those once in a lifetime opportunities.  Now every guest with a phone has a camera.  Spread the message widely. 

• ·         Guests should be sensitive to the photos they do post.  Photos should show the bride and groom in the best light.  Save those candid shots of the bride or groom for the couple alone.

• ·         The bride and groom should both unplug for the day.  Focusing on the events of the big day rather than checking messages or snapping photos should be the guiding theme.  They should both agree on the social media stance.  Guests should unplug during the ceremony.

• ·         It is an absolute no-no to show photos of the bride's gown before the wedding day.  Even if a bridesmaid took photos in the fitting room while shopping with the bride, IT DOES NOT GO PUBLIC.  Do not post!!!!

• ·         Do not post anything about the wedding without clearing it with the couple first.  Honor the couple's privacy.  It is common courtesy.

• ·         Unless you are a professional photographer hired by the couple, do not post video content on YouTube or other social media outlet.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Five Mistakes Brides Make When Shopping For Their Wedding Gown

1.  Bringing an Entourage -  It's hard to know if the reality TV shows have influenced the bride and convinced her that she needs to have a dozen opinions about her wedding gown before she can make a choice.  If it isn't the TV shows then there must be something in the water.  It is not a good idea to show up with a crowd.  It is stressful for the bride and adds very little to the efficiency of the day.  Most consultants will caution the bride to bring at most - her best friend, her mother and maybe one other person whose opinion she values.  Unless the bride to be has promised grandma that she can have the final word on the bride's gown in return for paying for it, try to keep the crowd down.  For practical matters, many bridal shops are simply not equipped to deal with 8- 10 extra people with each bridal party.  Do yourself a favor and take only those few persons whose opinion you value.

2.  Shopping too Early - We know that brides are excited to begin the search for THE GOWN, but more than 12 months in advance is seen as a hindrance rather than a blessing.  Styles can (and will) change, your tastes may change, your plans may change.  Before the great gown search begins, you should have a good handle on your wedding budget, the venues for the ceremony and reception and the kind of wedding you have in mind.  Certainly buy the wedding magazines, start thinking about your wedding themes and potential sites, but until things are locked down and you know how much you can spend and the sites you've chosen, it is better to wait.

3.  Trying on too many gowns - We all know brides who have found their gown after trying on only a couple of styles, but out of fear that they will miss some other gown if they don't shop around and try on dozens of gowns, they keep going from store to store.  Some brides brag that they have tried on dozens of dresses.  Others claim that it is fun to try on dozens at an equal number of wedding salons.  But most experienced consultants suggest that trying on more than 7 or 10 tops, is a waste of time because gowns become "a sea of white" and the bride emerges confused not delighted.

4.  Demanding the wrong size- Wedding gowns can run 1 to 2 sizes smaller than RTW.  Don't get hung up on a specific size.  Sizes can vary from designer to designer.  Listen to the consultant who is assisting in the fitting room and remember that alterations are always easier when a gown has to be taken in rather than let out.

5.  Being swayed by deep discount - Everyone likes a bargain and if the dress you love and must have is on sale, then good for you.  But to buy your wedding gown solely because "it is such a fabulous deal" isn't the best idea.  We always caution a bride against buying a dress she doesn't love just because it is on sale.

To insure that you shop for the best with the best, plan to shop for and purchase your gown at a full service bridal salon where the selection and service will make this once in a lifetime event  a truly memorable one.  Shop at a store that has been selected for membership in National Bridal Service.

For a time, wedding programs were seen as nice but not necessary. They were an item that budget conscious brides often omitted or provided reluctantly to those guests who requested one. That is changing. Programs are seen as integral to the ceremony and as keepsakes for the wedding.

Programs are a way to share information about your wedding ceremony with your guests and for many of those guests, are a lasting keepsake from your big day.

 • Program design is taking center stage rather than a plain typed sheet of white paper. Tri folds on excellent quality paper stock with font styles that match those chosen on invitations are being seen a more and more wedding ceremonies. If it is an outdoor wedding, the programs are printed as fans for guests to use.

• No longer just done on plain paper, today's programs feature designs or photos or sketches. The colors on the programs are chosen to match or compliment the wedding colors or themes.

• Brides and grooms are hiring graphic designers to create their wedding monogram which in turn becomes the centerpiece for invitations and other wedding papers including programs, napkins, thank you notes and even cake tops.

 • Programs can be personalized with a quote that is important to the couple, or poetry or song lyrics.

 • Program backs provide a place to explain floral dedications to departed loved ones, or are the place for a heartfelt thank you to guests for sharing the couple's big day.

• Programs should be handed out by greeters as guests enter the facility. They could be placed on individual chairs in the ceremony venue, but having greeters for guests is a nice touch.

• In addition to listing the names of the members of the wedding party and the couple's parents, grandparents and special relatives, some brides have asked that the guest list be printed on the program. It gives guests a chance to see who is in attendance that they might know and insures that the program will be kept and not tossed.

• Many programs include a personal note from the couple that talks about why a particular song was chosen to be played in the ceremony, a transcript of the personal vows that the couple have chosen.

• The program is a schedule of events in the ceremony, any communal responses required of the guests, and an opportunity to explain any ceremony addition that is part of a mixed cultural tradition.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Wedding Dollars

National statistics show a wide disparity in the cost of a wedding.  It all depends on where you live.  According to PARADE magazine in 2013 gown costs ranged from on average - $804 in Alaska to $3,027 in Manhattan.  That should be no surprise, just as it shouldn't surprise the couple that weddings require cash outlay.  What does surprise some couples is how fast and easy a budget can be exceeded if one is not careful.

Try to avoid the mindset which says, "I'll only do this once so I'll charge it now and pay it off later".  Once the wedding budget has been established, spending wisely and saving widely should be the guide.

·         Some couples start with a wedding piggy bank.  Get a large one (without the easy access of a cork in the bottom) and resolutely empty all the change into it every day.  If you have to smash the pig to get at the $$ you are less likely to spend from the pig.  Pulling out the cork or plug to grab a handful of change is too easy and too tempting.  With two people depositing change every day and an engagement of say 6 months, the pig should be full.  It won't pay for everything but the symbolism and daily ritual will keep you mindful of your budgeting vows.

·         Some couples consider a wedding day loan.  With interest rates fairly low, it might make sense for some.  Couples with adequate financial resources take out a wedding loan for convenience rather than necessity.  It makes it clear how much $$ is to be spent.  However, if one is taking out a loan out of need, it may not be a great idea.  It is a bad way to begin married life together, especially if either the bride or the groom or both are also handling paybacks on college loans.  Before a couple considers a wedding day loan, they should think long and hard about its impact on their lives.

·         One of the best ways to manage those wedding dollars is to establish a separate wedding planning account.  Whether it is funded by the couple or with parental contributions, that account is a good way to manage the funds.  It is too easy to get off budget when expenses are paid by a variety of credit or debit cards.  A wedding only account makes it clear where the money is going.

·         More and more couples are considering wedding insurance with covers accidents or damage at the ceremony or reception, and provides protection on a wide range of events like damage to the wedding gown or the failure of vendors to honor their commitments.  Investigate the various options covered and vet the company before signing on the dotted line.