WEDDING NOTES™ – Emergency Kit

You’ve planned a flawless wedding and believe with all your heart that it will go off without a hitch.

Your family has thought about and planned for any eventuality. However, should “Murphy’s Law” show up, the wise bride and her wedding consultant always have an emergency kit available.

What should go in your kit? These are the basic items we recommend for every kit. Add your own items as you see fit.

1.       A small sewing kit. At a minimum be sure it has thread to match your gown, the bridesmaid dresses, the mothers’ dresses and the tuxedos. There should be a variety of needle sizes, small scissors and a collection of extra buttons for your gown (if appropriate) for shirt fronts, safety pins and hemming tape just in case.

2.       A roll of Hollywood tape. This is used to keep low cut necklines in place among other handy uses. If you can’t find it in your area, you can find it online.

3.       A small medical supplies box. This should include aspirin or Tylenol, Tums or other antacids, band aids, smelling salts, breath mints and some PeptoBismal tablets.

4.       A box of personal grooming aids. Include a hair brush for touch ups, hair spray (used for both hair and for eliminating static cling on fabrics, hair or bobby pins, hat pins (for securing boutonnieres), your make up, mouthwash, deodorant.

5.       Rolls of Scotch Tape and white gaffer’s tape (you should be able to get at a local hardware store.) These are to be used on emergency fabric tears and on bouquets that “come undone”. Also bring a couple of sticks of white chalk to cover up stains on your white gown.

6.       Other miscellaneous items include: a lint brush, a pair of white or ivory ballet slippers for when your feet scream “take off the heels”, a small hand towel and wash cloth, a couple of zip top plastic bags, Kleenex and a bed sheet (to cover the floor in the dressing room to protect your gown as you step in to it.)

Knowing that you can cover most emergency situations should give you peace of mind. Of course, when you are prepared emergencies are less likely to happen.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Your Destination Wedding

As more and more couples are choosing to combine weddings and vacation celebrations, there are more issues to handle than brides realize.  For couples choosing this option, we have some advice for you.

• ·        Decide on your guest list which will likely be small.

• ·        Really research your chosen destination to see if it will work for you.

• ·        If it is a non English speaking place, contact the US Embassy there and ask about length of residency required before you can marry there.

• ·        If at all possible, visit the location before you make your decision.

• ·        Once decided, book as early as possible and hire a local wedding planner to handle the legwork for you.  Weddings Beautiful is a worldwide network of certified wedding planners who assist brides in coordinating their weddings.  She/he will be your eyes, ears and spokesperson as you create plans via long distance.

• ·        Be aware that other cultures may not always reply as promptly as we might expect.

• ·        Be aware that other cultures may not always have written contracts.

• ·        Learn about any restrictions or requirements that may exist for ceremonies and receptions.

• ·        Be aware of any dress requirements for the wedding couple and/or their attendants.

• ·        Be prepared to pay extra to bring your wedding dress and the groom’s wear on board your flight.

Once you have made your decision, resolve to be flexible and relaxed about the outcome.  Everything will work out!

WEDDING NOTES™ – After the Ceremony

Brides often ask us to explain the proper way to introduce the wedding party at the reception.  Our first suggestion is to insure that the time lag between ceremony end and reception start, is kept to a minimum.  Work with the photographer to have the post ceremony photos taken as quickly as possible so that guests are not waiting for events to begin.

If both sets of parents are going to be held up at the church for a bit, it is wise to ask a couple to serve as host and hostess until parents can arrive at the reception site.

While guests are waiting for the bridal party to arrive, they should be served appetizers and drinks.  

Once the bridal party arrives at the reception, the bandleader or the maitre d’  or master of ceremonies for the evening, asks everyone to stand while he introduces each of the members of the party.  Since the bride and groom are the stars of the event, they are introduced last.  Parents of the bride, parents of the groom, the ring bearer and flower girl, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the best man and maid of honor are introduced in that order, followed by the bride and groom.  Be sure to check the names on the list for correct spelling and pronunciation when you provide the names to the person in charge of introductions.

WEDDING NOTES™ – The Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is an integral part of the wedding celebration.  It is a happy and relaxing time for family and friends.  It is designed to bring people together and sets the tone for the ceremony and celebration to come.

Traditionally, the groom’s family hosts the party.  They invite the immediate families of the bride and the groom, the officiating clergy and spouse, the complete wedding party and their spouses or dates.  If there are out-of-town guests include them in the evening’s festivities.

It is usually held immediately following the wedding rehearsal held the night before the ceremony.

At the dinner use a seating chart and place cards to help people insure that they meet each other.

While the bridal couple and their parents usually sit at the head table, more and more couples are choosing to mingle with their guests.

As the host, the groom’s father makes the traditional toast to the couple and at this time he may introduce everyone if there is a chance that some guests are unfamiliar with those in attendance.

This party is a perfect time to present gifts to attendants, especially if the items given are to be worn at the wedding.

While it is a party, insure that it doesn’t last too long.  Every member of wedding party needs to get a good night’s sleep so they look their best at the main event the next day.

WEDDING NOTES™ – WEDDING DON’TS

With all of the advice available to a bride on “What to do about…”, there are also a few “don’ts” to keep in mind.

#1 –An important reminder comes from the brazen actions of one or more pretend guests who – according to recent news casts- walked into three different wedding receptions and walked out with the gift boxes that contained cash and cards.  Wedding planners continue to remind brides to make sure that someone close to her or a security guard hired for the occasion, be in charge of the gift table.  Don’t believe that just because you are having your reception in a church or well known club your gifts are safe.  Always make sure that someone you trust will be in charge of the gifts.  It is ideal if all gifts are sent to the bride’s home before the ceremony, but we all know that some gifts and most of the gift cards/cash are brought to the reception.  The table for gifts and the box for cards should never be out of surveillance.  And once all of the guests have arrived at the reception, the gifts should be either locked away in a room provided by the venue or entrusted to a family member for transport and/or safe keeping.

Don’t #2 – It is never correct to enclose gift registration information with your wedding invitations.  Some stores may offer to give you enclosure cards for that purpose, but politely decline.  Wedding guests have always found out where a bride was registered by asking a friend or relative.  Today they can add the bride’s web page to that information source.  Likewise, do not include in your invitations the corner copy that reads “Cash Gifts Preferred” or “Cash Gifts Invited”.  Really tasteless!!!!

Don’t #3- Don’t have a cash bar.  Having one is like inviting guests to dinner and then charging them for the food.  If your budget won’t cover the beverages of your choice, then pick other beverages.  Offer beer and wine.  Offer a special cocktail created for your reception.  Offer punch.  Have waiters pass champagne.  There are lots of creative options.

Don’t #4 – Never seek sponsors to donate things like liquor or wine for a mention or advertisement in your program.  That is so NOT DONE.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Selecting Your Florist

Most reputable florists will encourage brides to make an appointment well in advance of the wedding date.  Some ask for at least three months in advance of the planned nuptials while others can handle bookings a month in advance.

During your initial meeting with the florist, you will share with him/her your wedding style and your budget for flowers. (Note that The Knot.com suggests that wedding flowers budgets usually account for 8-10% of the wedding budget). You should be prepared to talk about colors, themes, décor, venue rules and restrictions.  Bring photos and swatches of your gown and bridesmaids dresses whenever possible.  Talk about your favorite flowers and be sure to discuss the kind of service you need.  Are you counting on the floral designer to do just bouquets and church flowers or do you want this professional to handle all of the design for ceremony and reception? Do you want them to just deliver the flowers to the church or do you expect them to place floral arrangements, aisle decorations (if ordered) and reception flowers? Will they provide someone to pin on corsages and boutonnières at the ceremony or will you? 

Here are some other questions that you may wish to consider asking as you interview florists.  The answers may help you make your decision and final choice of florist.

• ·        If he/she doesn’t offer the information, ask about the design credentials and experience of the florists who will work on your wedding.

• ·        Ask to see the operations area of the florist you are considering. See if there is enough design space to handle both your wedding and other work that may need to be done at the same time as your wedding.  There should be room for your bouquets and displays without crowding and staff to handle the careful assembly.

• ·        Ask about how far in advance of your wedding day they will begin the design process.  You don’t want bouquets assembled and then left sitting in coolers for days.

• ·        Ask how they insure that your flowers will be at their freshness peak.  Ask about the processing system they use to protect and feed the flowers as they arrive from growers.

• ·        Ask to see the cooler space they will use to store your completed flowers.  Is it big enough to handle your wedding needs and other business without crowding?  Is there backup?

• ·        Ask about their delivery system.  You want your flowers delivered on time without being damaged.  Make sure there is back up delivery trucks and experienced personnel handling delivery.

Flowers are an essential part of your wedding environment and key fashion accessories.  Select the best you can afford and make sure of the services you want and need well in advance of the wedding date.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Cake for Dessert

As a part of the wedding celebration – rich in lore and tradition – the wedding cake is a strong and symbolic centerpiece.  There are boundless opportunities to create a cake and cake cutting tradition that can be uniquely yours.  

You can choose the traditional, tiered, all white wedding cake with a bride and groom gracing the top layer.  You can order from a wide range of cake flavors – chocolate, banana, carrot, sponge, almond or lemon.  You can get creative with fillings and frostings – ganache, mousse, mascarpone, cream cheese, butter crème or fondant.  You can select from a variety of shapes.  Squares, rectangles, pyramids and ovals are replacing the standard 3-5 tier round wedding cake.

Some brides are choosing to have many smaller wedding cakes rather than one big one – usually placed as the centerpiece at each guest table.

Some couples on a budget are choosing a smaller display cake that they will cut for photos.  Guests then dine on sheet cakes cut in the kitchen and served to guests from the cake table, buffet or passed by servers.

You can select a groom’s cake to complement the wedding cake.  It can be flavored or have special filling or be a special shape to reflect his interests.

Some couples have chosen to eliminate the wedding cake itself and offer their guests multiple dessert choices from a separate dessert buffet.  Other couples are replacing the traditional wedding cake with frosted petit fours and/or cupcakes or cake pops.

Ice cream cakes are a favorite of some couples.  While they may be a fun idea, cutting and serving these cakes requires patience and speed.

Cake tops are inventive and lovely.  While the standard bride and groom are available, they are frequently replaced by fresh flower arrangements in colors to compliment the wedding theme, porcelain or glass flower arrangements that will be kept for in home display, figurines from personal collections, a tiara filled with fresh flowers to match the bridal bouquet, or frosting flowers which reflect the fabric or design of the wedding gown itself.