WEDDING NOTES™ – Perfect -Yes, Flawless-Unlikely

Of course you want your wedding and reception to be perfect.  You will invest lots of time and effort and money to make that happen.  Perfect means that all your planning pays off and your wedding day is a lovely event that you and your groom will remember for years to come.  It was a perfect day for you two.

Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a flawless wedding day.  Things will happen over which you have zero control.  We all know stories about cakes that cracked on the way to the reception, flowers that did not look like what you ordered, a bridesmaid who fainted on the altar, a canceled flight that kept the maid of honor in an airport terminal instead of at the church with you, a flower girl who refused to walk down the aisle at the wedding after doing it beautifully at rehearsal or a back zipper that spread apart just as a bridesmaid was ready to walk down the aisle in the processional.

The trick is to make the event seem flawless.  Accept the fact that not everything will go as planned.  That is why we recommend hiring a wedding planner or a coordinator.  It is his/her job to handle flawless.  Your job is to enjoy your day and know that it is perfect for you and the groom you love.

If you do not have a wedding planner, we suggest that you select someone or two to fill that role in advance.  Entrust that person or persons to run interference for you and to calmly deal with the inevitable.  They will be the ones who will make sure the cake gets fixed, and will lend personal rings to use in the ceremony if the best man forgets or the ring bearer loses the real thing.  They are the ones who will oversee the plans and events and will handle the unexpected.  These are different from your personal attendant who will take care of all the little things you may need.  They are the event managers for one day so that you can focus on being the guest of honor.

The role requires tact and the ability to act calmly when others might panic.  Those you select will become managers for the day and will make sure you do get your PERFECT DAY.

WEDDING NOTES™ – PAPERWORK

It is true - getting married requires a lot of paperwork.  Part of dealing with it easily means being organized and collecting as many forms as you can well in advance of the wedding itself.

Remember that women who plan to take the groom's surname will have more records to change than women who plan to keep their own names.  The same is true for any partner who will be relocating after the ceremony.

Prepare all of the forms you can get your hands on prior to the wedding.  Even though some of them may require copies of your marriage certificate, you can be ready with forms completed and stamped once the ceremony is over.   Some couples make it a date night and complete all the forms together over dinner, dessert or coffee.

Aside from personal contacts and wedding thank you notes yet to come, here is a list of the records you may need to change.  Ask your wedding planner, or friends who recently married what other forms or records you should consider.

Social Security

Life Insurance

Health insurance

Homeowner's and liability insurance policies

Driver's licenses

Credit Card accounts

Voter Registration records

Immigration records

Investment accounts

Bank accounts

Employment records

Post office records

WEDDING NOTES™ – A Break with Tradition

As one wedding planner had said, "traditions are simply good ideas that got repeated".  They are not laws.  And that's a good thing.  If nothing ever changed, there would be a lot of grooms who would not get to lay eyes on their brides until after the vows were exchanged, brides who would be stolen and kept in hiding until parents and grooms  negotiated their ransom or brides who would have their heads shaved for their big day.  Fortunately, these customs have faded away and others have taken their places.

The important thing is to realize what customs and traditions matter to you.  If one of them makes you uncomfortable, you should ignore it.  The same is true of family customs.  While you may be reluctant to go against the wishes of family members, be gracious, express your view and if you don't want to be married in the same location as your parents chose- don't.  This is your wedding.  By all means listen respectfully to family members talk about wedding traditions they have known.  Select from the suggestions if they feel right and thank folks for the ideas.

Set out to create some new traditions that you like.  If you and your finance like to celebrate events with espresso and cheesecake, maybe a coffee bar and dessert table would take the place of a conventional wedding cake at your reception.

Instead of forcing single women at your reception to come forward and "fight" for the remains of your bridal bouquet, maybe you'll choose to do what one bride did.  She had her bouquet made with five smaller bouquets gathered into one held in place with ribbon.  At the reception, instead of throwing the bouquet, she untied the ribbon and handed a small bouquet to each of her bridesmaids with her thanks.  Or you could hand one of the small bouquets to your mother, the groom's mother, grandmothers and/or godmothers.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Wedding Themes and Ideas

We are enthusiastic observers of wedding trends with years of experience and plenty of creative ideas to share with our brides.  Marriage is still a sacred and serious event, but today's etiquette allows for many innovative and personal ideas to tie the past to the present.

More and more couples are choosing to exchange personalized vows when religious ceremonies permit.  They are choosing ceremonies which unite children and parents as a new family unit.

The European influence is felt in weddings where children as attendants replace traditional bridesmaids.

Growing in popularity are weekend weddings that begin with the rehearsal dinner on Friday night and end with a creative brunch on Sunday.  Because many families have members who live across the country, a weekend wedding allows time to renew family bonds while providing time for golf, tours and sightseeing.

Other couples are choosing to express their lineage.  Bagpipers play for those of Scottish descent.  Chinese lanterns and fortune cookies appear at receptions and wedding dinners remind one of rustic Tuscan banquets. Reproduction weddings that are based on old time sepia photographs of great grandparent weddings are being seen.

We have lots more great ideas to share with you.

WEDDING NOTES™ – A Wise Decision

We know how time consuming and difficult it can be to make the myriad of wedding plans, big and small, and keep track of them all.  That is why hiring a wedding planner is such a terrific idea.

Your wedding planner can offer a variety of services based on your needs.  From learning exactly what the bride wants and overseeing every detail to things as simple as seating arrangements for divorced parents who don't speak to each other, the planner can do as much or as little as you wish.

Think how nice it would be to have her take care of your aunt who has never planned a wedding in her life but who insists on expressing her opinion of every detail of yours.

Because wedding planners are in constant contact with vendors, current trends and special sites, they will be your best source for creating the unique and the unusual.  

Weddings are meant to be joyous occasions, not events filled with taut nerves and stressful moments.

We encourage all brides to place their dreams of a perfect wedding into the hands of a professional planner. She'll find it will be one of the best decisions she has made since she said "yes" to the groom.