WEDDING NOTES™ - Brides Share Ideas

Brides and grooms are glad to share ideas from their weddings - if you ask them.  Some stores send a note with the gown when it is picked up.  The note is a thank you from the store, wishing her and the groom a long and happy life together, and asking the bride to share her thoughts after the big event.  The note is usually printed on good paper stock and has the store's logo on it along with the greetings and good wishes.  They also enclose a stamped and printed return envelope.  It is a way to encourage brides to remember the help and advice you gave, as well as a way to share with future brides.

Here are some of the ideas and advice we've heard from brides.

*Be sure to mail an invitation with all the inserts to yourself.  Don't open it.  Keep it in your wedding book and save it for future generations to open.

*Ask all friends and relatives to write a favorite recipe on the back of the response card before they return it to you.  Keep them in a special place throughout your married life.

*We weren't sure what color theme we wanted and finally decided to use the color of each of our birthstones.  It was lovely.

*If you are going to throw your garter (or the groom will) be sure you purchase two:  one to toss and one you want to keep.

*We decided to buy a new silver dollar with the year of our wedding on it.  We plan to buy a new one every year on our anniversary.

*Because it was a second wedding for both of us, we decided we didn't want any gifts.  We picked a charity that we both support and asked that in lieu of gifts to us, gifts be given to the charity.  We plan to donate to it every year on our anniversary.

*My groom bought lottery tickets for each of his attendants and placed in one pocket of each tux as a way to say thanks for being in my wedding.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Leave Your Guests with Pleasant Memories

A great deal of time, energy, money and planning went into creating the wedding of your dreams.

Everyone wished you well and thought your wedding was one of the nicest and loveliest events they had attended.   But one of the biggest reasons that guests were so pleased to be a part of the event, is how pleasant and charming you - the bride was throughout the entire process.

We want our brides to be happy with the wedding of their dreams and we also want them to be the source of warm thoughts and memories from relatives and guests who see her at her very best.  She is gracious and focused on others.  The most charming bride is the one whose focus is not on herself alone, but one who shares her happiness with family and friends.

Some advice:  Don't talk about the weddingnon-stop.  It's good that you are enthusiastic and excited about your upcoming wedding, but hard as it is to believe, not everyone in your orbit needs or wants to hear every little detail, every day for the months of preparation.  As one guest remarked, "Believe it or not, the world was turning on its axis every day without everyone knowing every detail every hour."  Your wedding is OUR focus as we help you plan, but not every person you meet shares that focus.

 
Some brides have a "me first" attitude throughout the planning process.  That can be hard to take.  People wish you well and want you to be happy, but it is unrealistic to expect everyone to drop everything and focus only on you and your wedding.  WE will focus on you and we will help you create a memorable event while you the bride treat your family and friends with genuine care and sharing.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Thoughts on Gift Giving

As the wedding season ramps up, it is time to dust off the guidelines on gift giving for weddings.

We are frequently asked about when is a gift a must and when it is a maybe?

Here are some simple "rules".

SHOWERS:  If one is invited to a bridal shower and plans to attend - yes, a gift is in order.  Usually, a shower gift is smaller and more personal than the gift given at the wedding.  If one does not plan to attend, a gift is not required nor expected.  However, depending on one's relationship to the bride -to-be, a small gift of remembrance may be sent to the bride in care of the hostess of the shower or via another guest who will be attending.

WEDDINGS:  If one is invited to the wedding and plans to attend, yes - a gift is expected.  But if one is invited but cannot attend, the giving of a gift is optional.  We say "optional" because the norms around this are changing and even vary by geographic region.  Traditionally, if one was invited to a wedding but could not attend, a gift was not necessarily expected.  If the guest was close to the couple, a gift was usually sent anyway.  However, today's expectations are changing and guests may decide to gift anyway.  If the bride or groom are close friends or relatives, a gift is sent.  If you are only casual friends, a gift may be sent.  Emily Post experts now state, "You traditionally respond to a wedding invitation with a gift whether or not you are able to attend...".  Some guests may give a group gift which is a good way for casual friends to participate.

For more questions about gift giving, see our experienced consultants for assistance.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Thanking your Bridesmaids

As you add "Buy gifts for attendants" to your to do list, consider all that they are giving you.

Do you have to buy gifts for them?  No!  Do you have to thank them for what they are doing for you?  Absolultely!  Whether it's one witness at a Justice of the Peace or 6 college friends who are flying in to be a part of your special day,  standing up for you at your wedding is quite a commitment.  They are likely buying a dress, shoes and maybe a headpiece of sorts.  It's likely that they are attending at least one shower for you and will no doubt be giving you a wedding gift.  Some of them may have incurred flight or other travel expenses just getting to your wedding.   The gift you choose for your bridesmaids is important and must be accompanied by a huge thank you for being a part of the most important event in your life.

What to give?  There are many classic and innovative ideas to consider.  Here are some we know about.

• *A favorite is jewelry, accessories,  or personal items monogrammed or in individual favorite colors .  These gifts are usually given either during a bridesmaid's luncheon or at the rehearsal dinner along with the groom's gifts to his attendants.

• *If schedules permit, many brides choose to host a spa day for their attendants.  A day of relaxing massages, facials and personal attention is hard to beat.

• *If you are planning a destination wedding, paying their travel expenses would be a marvelous gift.  If you can't swing the airfare, plan to cover at least their ground accommodations.

• * Plan to send post wedding flowers to the bridesmaids at their place of employment whenever/wherever possible.  Send a thank you note with the flowers.  If they cannot be delivered to the job site, send them to her home.

WEDDING NOTES™ - Some Really Good Advice

If you have never before practiced Self Care, do it NOW.  All the planning and decision making that gointo pulling the myriad aspects of your wedding into place can leave you stressed out beyond belief.  This advice comes from wedding planners who know how important this is.

*Do whatever you need to do to unwind, relax and sleep well.  Take your vitamins, get healthy exercise and find effective emotional outlets for releasing the stress you feel.  Remember your groom.  Do fun things together and plan together.  You need to be healthy and strong and resilient.

*Get and stay organized.  Start early and document every decision made around your wedding day.  It doesn't matter if you keep records on line or in file folders or a paper bag.  Find a system that works for you - implement it early on and keep it current.

*Together set a budget for the wedding and stick to it.  Agree on priorities.  Identify those key items that you both really want as well as those areas where you can "under" spend.

*Remember to be grateful for all that you have and for everything others are doing for you.  You will get gifts, good wishes and offers to help.  Thank those who offer assistance whether you take them up on that offer or not.  Because weddings are happy occasions, people feel good and want to help if they can.  It's nice to be a part of a positive and joyous event.

*Remember your plan and stick with it.  Yes, you'll hear of a great idea or see something at someone else's wedding that you'd like to adopt for yours.  Be careful of playing "one ups manship".  Do you really want that?  What are you willing to give up for it?  Some you'll want to copy and some you won't.  This bride is having her big day and you'll have yours.

And the best advice of all - let go of bridal guilt!  You can't make everyone happy all the time.  It's not worth the worry and stress.  Sometimes guilt is ok.  It can help us deal with other's feelings.  But most of the time we are simply afraid that we have let someone down or hurt someone's feelings.  Do your best to be aware of the feelings of others and honor them when you can.  But the best advice is to remember that on your wedding day, you are there to please yourself and your groom as you begin your new life together.