Monday, November 30, 2015

WEDDING NOTES™ - What Makes a Wedding Formal?

One of the questions our consultants are frequently asked is "what does it mean that the wedding is formal or not?"  The easy answer is "whatever you want it to mean".  But that isn't the answer most brides want.  What follows are the criteria that have long been used to shape and define various weddings and degrees of formality.
FORMAL - These are the traditional guidelines for a formal wedding.
  • ·         The ceremony is held in a church, synagogue, or luxury hotel
  • ·         The reception is held in a luxury hotel, private club or private estate
  • ·         There are 100 or more guests
  • ·         Invitations are engraved with traditional wording
  • ·         The bride wears a floor-length gown with a chapel- length or sweeping train, a veil that is at least fingertip length and gloves (now optional)
  • ·         The groom wears a cutaway (before 6 pm) or white tie and tails (after 6 pm)
  • ·         Bridesmaids wear floor- length gowns
  • ·         Male attendants wear matching cutaways or tails.
  • ·         Guests wear formal attire or evening wear
  • ·         The reception features a sit-down dinner
  • ·         There is live entertainment
  • ·         There is elaborate floral and event design
  • ·         There is luxury transportation.

Note:  One consultants who specializes in very formal weddings shares this distinction:  "Ultra formal weddings follow the same guidelines as formal weddings, but with a heightened sense of formality and drama...Expect that a very formal wedding would have 200 or more guests, between four and 10 or 12 attendants, and a white tie dress code.  The bride's gown as well the wedding party's attire, and the guests' should reflect this very formal style."

Saturday, November 21, 2015

WEDDING NOTES™ - The Legalities to Remember

As lovely and personal and exciting this wedding is going to be, the wise couple remembers that it much more.  Your very personal and beautifully planned event is also a civil event in which a new legal entity is created.  There are a number of factors to consider once the bride and the groom are pronounced man and wife.
·         The prenuptial agreement- While it may not be romantic to consider one, there are circumstances in which a contract concerning expectations or property can be very helpful.  These agreements give the couple an opportunity to cover certain circumstances.  For example, it is a second marriage for both and each has children from a former marriage, an agreement might protect the rights of each partner's children, or the parents of the bride or the groom may be giving the couple a valuable antique.  The family may wish to have this heirloom remain in the family in the event of divorce.  A prenuptial agreement may state how you will handle savings or how household expenses will be shared.  Such agreements should be well thought out and reviewed by a lawyer, signed by both parties plus witnesses and notarized.
·         The marriage license -   Know that each state has its own requirements for blood tests, waiting time and age of consent , so do check with public officials for all the details.
·         The marriage certificate - Following your ceremony, your witnesses and the officiant (and in some states the bride and groom as well) will all sign the civil certificate.  Some couples may include the signing in their ceremony (a Quaker custom).  Your church or synagogue may also issue its own certificate.  Generally your officiant will file your marriage certificate with the proper authorities and you'll receive a copy some weeks later by mail.
·         Changing your name -Once married the bride can choose to use her husband's surname, continue to use her maiden name, or combine the two to suit the couple's choice.  If any change of name is done, you'll need to record than name change on all legal documents and papers.  Here are a few:
*Driver's license                        *Car Registration
*Passport                                 *Social Security card
*Insurance Policies                    *Will
*Voter Registration card            *Checking Account
*Savings Accounts                    *Credit Cards
*Stock Certificates                    *Employee I.D. cards
*Post Office

Sunday, November 8, 2015

WEDDING NOTES™ - Showers

Bridal showers have a long tradition.  They are parties with a purpose!  They are given to help the couple outfit their new home or assemble a trousseau.  It is a vestige of the age-old dowry, or wealth which a woman brought to her marriage.  It is generally given by women who are good friends of the bride-to-be, sometimes by a relative or most often by the honor attendant or bridesmaids.  They may be given by relative of the groom's family and are a nice way for the bride-to-be to meet members of her new family.

While at one time showers were given to help the new couple furnish necessities, today's showers are given around a variety of themes.
·         Kitchen showers are probably the most popular because of the wide range of items that nearly every couple can use.  One variation on the kitchen theme asks each guest to bring a favorite recipe along with one item needed for its preparation (e.g., a flour sifter with a cake recipe).  Many hostesses sent out uniform recipe cards in advance so they can be assembled in an easy to use box or notebook.
·         For an around-the-clock shower, each guest is assigned an hour of the day and then brings a gift to match along with a note explaining why that gift was chosen.  There are many possibilities:  an alarm clock, coffee mugs, newspaper or magazine subscriptions, a casserole dish for dinner, a bottle of wine for the cocktail hour, comfy slippers for evening lounging.
·         A service shower is perfect for the couple that seems to have everything.  Guests pledge a way to help in the future - a catered dinner for two, an offer to paint the living room of the house they're redecorating, Saturday morning yard work, a weekend at a guest's lake cabin.
·         An office shower could be perfect for the woman with a busy career:  a leather-bound weekly planner for the home, engraved stationery,attache' case, books, gift certificate for a Kindle, a week's worth of dinners for two prepared, frozen and clearly marked.
·         Women only showers are naturals for lingerie, sewing accessories, closet and/or drawer organizers, gift certificates for beauty salon or masseuse services.
·         Couples showers suggest his-and-her tools for household maintenance, plants, wines/liquors, sporting goods and games.