WEDDING NOTES™ – Choose a Prime Location

We believe that the secret of planning a fabulous stress-free reception begins with finding the right venue.  Over the years we've learned plenty of secrets to help you avoid costly mistakes.

As soon as the date is confirmed with the clergy or officiant, contact should be made with the manager of your preferred venues to check on availability.  If you don't have a place in mind, consider options such as hotels, banquet halls, historical sites, parks, art galleries or museums.  In choosing a reception locations, a major concern should be the convenience of your guests.  It should be easily accessible by car and no more than 30 minutes from the ceremony site.  It should be large enough to easily accommodate the number of guests you expect as well as provide comfortable seating arrangements.

Be sure to check how many events will be taking place if you are considering a multi-event location.  Ask how much time is allotted between events scheduled for the same day.  How is parking?  Is there enough room for your guest's cars?

Are there enough restrooms to accommodate your guests?  Review any restrictions the location may have regarding the type, volume and duration of the music you'd like.  Is there a public address system or do you have to provide one?  Is there an adequate power supply for speakers, instruments and amplifiers?

Ask if the facility will provide an event coordinator to cue the musicians for the first dance, toasts, cake cutting and bouquet toss.  Just to insure that each of these activities go off without a hitch, if you do not have a wedding planner, ask a couple to act as assistant hosts to greet guests and managed the various events of the evening so that you and your parents are free to enjoy the party.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Your Celebration Schedule

We know that weddings are filled with many exciting and unforgettable moments.  The commitment ceremony is very special and is considered sacred by many.  The reception is the time to celebrate.  Since this celebration is likely to be one of the biggest social events you'll ever plan, we want to help you make it truly memorable.  Here are some guidelines to help you plan the best reception ever.

Know that if your reception is likely to last four hours, you can schedule activities at a more leisurely pace.  Both your wedding planner and and/or the reception site manager can help you plan the sequence of events exactly as you wish them.  If you don't know where to start, here is an example of a well scheduled reception you may wish to consider.

Usually there are photos taken between the end of the ceremony and the start of the reception.  Work with your photographer to try to minimize the time spent with group shots.  The special effect photos that you want taken should be done before the ceremony whenever possible.  Ideally, the reception site would not be further than 1/2 hour's drive from the ceremony.  Because your guests are likely to go directly to the reception from the ceremony - and are likely to arrive before you and the wedding party do, be sure to have a reception host or hostess at the site ready to greet your guests and direct them to whatever area you have chosen for cocktails or punch and hors d'oeuvres.

Once you and the bridal party have arrived, the DJ or master of ceremonies should introduce you.  If you have not had a receiving line at the ceremony site, it is usual to form the line immediately after being introduced.  However, more and more couples are choosing to greet guests at their tables during the reception or as guests are leaving the event.

Cocktails and appetizers are usually served before all guests are seated.  This is an appropriate time for a few toasts or you can choose to have your first dance.  Next, the main course is served and following that, guests mingle and dance.  Then the cake is cut and served along with whatever dessert(s) you have chosen.  After dessert is when the bride usually tosses her bouquet if she has decided to do so.  Know that fewer and fewer brides are following that tradition.  It is time for the final dance, guests leave and you are off to your new life together.

WEDDING NOTES™ – Advice for Guests

We spend a lot of time dealing with etiquette questions for the bride and groom, but there are guidelines for wedding guests as well. We like to remind guests that they have been invited to a very special party that is celebrating a milestone in the lives of the couple. Guest behavior guidelines are important to consider as one has been invited to witness this event. The presence of the guests is part of their gift to the couple.

Here are some questions we get asked by guests planning to attend a friend’s wedding.

• How do I know if my “significant other” is invited?  If the bride and groom are more your friends than your significant other’s, the envelope would be addressed to you only. The second inside envelope would traditionally be addressed to you and a guest or you and your partner’s name. However, many couples today are eliminating the second inside envelope, so looking at who the invitation is addressed to may give you a clue. If that doesn’t do it, check the language of the response or reply card for an idea. If you know the bride or groom well, you may ask them directly, or inquire on their web page. Don’t be surprised if the invitation is to you alone if a smaller more intimate wedding celebration is planned. And don’t be offended.

• If I can’t attend the wedding but am sending a gift, when should I send it? It is ideal if you can send the gift two to four weeks before the wedding. Know that the bride and groom will be too busy the week of the wedding to do much with gifts. If you can’t send it prior to the ceremony, you may send it after the wedding but no later than two weeks after.

• I plan to give the couple a check for a wedding gift. What is appropriate? It depends on how close you are to the bride or the groom or both. If you are lifelong friends and can afford it, be as generous as you are comfortable being. If you are a casual friend, the rule of thumb is to consider the cost of your dinner and that of your guest – Plus! If you and your partner are attending and giving a joint gift, the guideline is to guesstimate the cost of dinner x 2 plus an extra – either the amount of another dinner or two.

• When should I arrive at the ceremony? It is a huge guest faux pas to show up after the bride has walked down the aisle. The preferred attendance rules are for guests to arrive about 30 minutes prior to the ceremony but certainly no later than 15 minutes in advance. You need to park the car, straighten your outfit and be seated by the ushers. Just remember that when the invitation says 5 PM ceremony, which means it starts then – not show up then.